Newly Released National Poll Finds 100% of Women Want a Cruise for Valentine’s Day

A pie graph with title, "What women want for Valentine's Day" all shaded in with red to indicate all women polled want a cruise.  Other choices indicated with different colors include chocolate, flowers, and lingerie.

In the lead up to Valentine’s Day on February 14th, a newly released national poll of U.S. women offers some valuable advice for those wondering what to gift their wife, girlfriend, or partner. Of those polled, 100% selected “cruise” from a list of possible preferred Valentine’s Day gifts. Other choices included chocolate (tied for 2nd at 0%), flowers (tied for 2nd at 0%), and lingerie (tied for 2nd at 0%).

While no information was released about the methods used, sample size, or study sponsorship, when asked, the principle investigator asserted, somewhat defensively, that the poll was highly scientific and further argued that, “those who ignore this clear message being sent by U. S. women do so at their own peril.” She went on to cite a related study from 2023 showing that 0% of U.S. adults who did not gift their partners a cruise got lucky on Valentine’s Day.

Critics of the study (all men) were resentful at not being included in the poll and stated that, if asked, 100% of men would also prefer a cruise for Valentine’s Day instead of having their photo posted to their significant other’s Instagram page with caption, “My heart, my soul, my life. Happy Valentine’s day to my one true and enduring love.” That is NOT a gift, they argued!

So, readers, in light of the poll results and the poll’s critics, can we all just agree that the only appropriate Valentine’s Day gift for women AND men is…a cruise? Good. Now that that’s settled…

Happy Valentine’s Day and happy cruising!

Class dismissed!

Homework (10 points): Have you ever been gifted a cruise for Valentine’s Day or cruised over Valentine’s Day? Share your experience to the comments!

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*This is clearly satire. But, trust me, you should still get your partner that cruise!

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7 Responses

  1. John Cohn says:

    This was just what was needed to brighten my morning. For the record I did try to buy my wife a cruise as a Valentines Day Present, but alas, the cruise ship was sold out for the itinerary she wanted. So, do i get points for trying?
    I would gladly have tried other itineraries or a new beer fridge for my (I mean our family room), but since she only mentioned that one itinerary, let it go and bought her a box of chocolate covered cherries instead

    • Prof. Cruise says:

      You tried John, you tried. And FAILED. Keep trying. Honestly, all you have to do is cause minor (totally recoverable – I’m not a monster) injuries to a few of those booked passengers and you’re in! You can send me those chocolate cherries as a thank you for the super helpful advice. lol.

  2. John Cohn says:

    Being old my memory is going. Actually, in December I did book a cruise to Bermuda for us. As I recall, I was thinking that this year I’ll get a really special Valentine’s day present for my honey and do it in advance, unlike past years where I wait until after Valentines Day and buy half off chocolate covered cherries. Unfortunately the itinerary does not take place until April.

    So, here is my question. As a seasoned researcher and principal investigator of numerous studies, wouldn’t you agree that this in fact qualifies?

    • Prof. Cruise says:

      Did you actually purchase it with the intent that it be a Valentine’s gift and will be you surprising her with it on Valentine’s Day? If so, it counts. If not, better start looking for another one! Honestly, half off chocolate cherries after the day? Not as bad as the time my uncle wrapped up some Post-It notes (you’ll note the size was similar to a ring box) and gave it to my aunt for Christmas. Still, if I didn’t already know and like you, I’d really have some serious sympathy for your wife. lol!

  3. John Cohn says:

    How villains becomes heros.
    Not wishing to appear as a villain in front of your audience for failing to take my wife on a Valentine’s Day Cruise, I have changed my ways and wanted to let you and your readers know that. My wife has wanted to take the same Antarctica Cruise you just completed, but alas, the February sailings were completely sold out and we would have to wait until December – and I am sure you would agree that does not qualify as Valentine’s Day.

    So, on an almost HOURLY basis, i frequented the NCL web site looking for cancellations and today I scored. One vacancy left in an outrageously priced two bedroom suite. I decided that cost was not an object and was about to book the cruise when I thought I had best tell her that we need to pack and leave in about 10 days to catch the cruise. She said no.

    I am not looking for sympathy, but perhaps redemption.

    I would also be willing to commission a survey among your male readers on the whole issue of Valentine’s day and my efforts. I am concerned that if a poll were conducted solely among your female readers, the results might be skewed. I believe that your male readers would be able to be totally objective on the subject

    • Prof. Cruise says:

      While I nearly always take the woman’s side (because, let’s face it, the woman is nearly always right), I have to forcefully take your side on this one John. Honestly, who turns down a 14-day cruise in a suite to a bucket list destination? I’m sure she pointed out some “practical” concerns about leaving the country in 10 days on a 10+ hour plane ride and having to scramble to make lots of complicated arrangements and probably said something about draining your retirement fund. Phffft! When there’s a cruise on offer, any cruise, you go! Period. Full stop. (Now perhaps I’m not really a voice of reason here, having quit a tenured professor position to move across the country and cruise full time, but let’s just forget about that.) Team John!

  4. Wendy says:

    Last year, my husband bought me a lottery ticket for Valentine’s Day, haha. I scratched off $1000! We used it on a short cruise over Labor Day. I was gracious enough to take him along.

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