Cruise Humor

Today’s (Cruise) Horoscope

TODAY’S (CRUISE) HOROSCOPE

Aries

The sun and moon are set to square off this afternoon, making it the perfect time to book a cruise! Uranus will be active in the area of your chart that controls leisure, meaning you should pamper yourself with a spa pass. Venus and Jupiter will align overhead later tonight prompting you to focus on basic needs, such as food and shelter. See that as a sign to book a specialty restaurant and consider bidding on a cabin upgrade.

Taurus

As the pisces moon journeys through your solar eleventh house, you will find yourself craving a community of people who really get you. People who only step away from their poolside lounger to get food, lose at trivia, and hide from their children. Time to book your next cruise!

Gemini

Uranus will step in today to offer you an escape from a particularly challenging week, though you should consider venturing outside your comfort zone to maximize the effects. If you usually cruise Carnival, Royal Caribbean, or Virgin, you should book a cruise on Princess, Celebrity, or Holland America. And if you usually sail Princess, Celebrity, or Holland America, book Carnival, Royal Caribbean, or Virgin. Aim for a positive attitude when Venus and Jupiter align in the evening. Remember, even if you’re nervous about trying a new cruise line, you’ll be in the company of a bunch of like-minded geminis.

Cancer

You’ll crave alone time when the sun and moon square off this afternoon, making it the perfect time to book a solo cruise. If your spouse or travel companion protests, just tell them, “sorry, but it’s written in the stars.”

Leo

As the pisces moon travels through your house of transformation today, your focus should be on releasing anything that no longer serves you. Consider this a sign that you should quit your job and cruise full time! But keep a low profile when the sun and moon square off this afternoon, leading to resentment among your former colleagues. Consider revising your farewell e-mail to read, “I’ve enjoyed working with you and wish you all the best” instead of “if you have any questions about the massive, complicated project I just abandoned in your lap, I’ll be unreachable at sea, SUCKERS!”

Virgo

As the pisces moon continues through your seventh house this morning, you should focus on self-care by booking a cruise. Uranus will become active later today encouraging your psyche to explore beyond the confines of reality. Better buy that drink package!

Libra

As the pisces moon travels through your solar sixth house, devote the morning to getting organized…for your next cruise! When Uranus becomes active later in the day, you’ll be in a good position to break free from old habits like stuffing everything you own into one suitcase for your cruise. Instead, consider bringing a second luggage piece so you can spread it out and still have room to purchase and pack these:

Scorpio

Take heed, dear scorpio, the pisces moon squares off with the gemini sun this afternoon and the only way to leave the resulting feeling of envy in your wake is to log off social media and book a cruise.

Sagittarius

As the pisces moon triggers the area of your chart that controls domestic happiness, you need to focus on reaffirming your close relationships. Book a cruise for you and a loved-one, but consider a suite with two bathrooms, so you don’t have to argue over closet space or the appropriate number of flushes following a number two.

Capricorn

Get any critical work or chores done early, because when Uranus becomes active later in the day, impulsivity will take over, and you’re likely to book a cruise departing…tomorrow!

Aquarius

Conflict could emerge when Venus and Jupiter square off today, though booking a cruise from bed with coffee and doughnuts should put you in a better mood.

Pisces

As the moon drifts effortlessly through your sign, you’ll begin the day with optimism.  However, you’ll be reminded of life’s challenges when the sun and Luna square off in the afternoon. Thankfully, Uranus will intervene this evening to transform your ways of thinking, finally prompting you to book a world cruise because your kid is ten and plenty old enough to raise himself! (If that last part seems oddly specific, it’s because the author, in addition to being a gifted astrologer, is also a pisces and has been counting down the seconds until her kid goes off to college so she can book a world cruise.)

And with that…

Class Dismissed.

Homework (10 points): Share your sign to the comments and whether or not your horoscope rang true.

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*This post was adapted from the daily horoscope on astrology.com by the brilliant Renee Watt.

**I earn a small commission on products purchased through links on my site at no extra cost to you. All commissions go toward supporting the work of the site. Thank you!

Prof. Cruise

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