2020 called and it wants it suckiness back! I don’t know how it’s going where you sit (please share in the comments what things look like in your little corner of the world), but here in Seattle my kid is back to virtual school which means I’m currently giving the side-eye to a Brady Bunch-looking split screen of 3rd graders in their PJ’s (admittedly adorable) picking their noses (not so adorable). AND I’ve had two cruises cancelled since yesterday! It’s crap casserole.
But I’m here to tell you (as I try to convince myself): “We survived this once and we can do it again! Let’s garnish this crap casserole with a Costco-sized bag of shredded cheddar cheese and see if we can salvage it!” Which brings us to today’s lecture topic:
Here are 15 fun cruise-related things you can do at home during your cancelled cruise.
Try your hands at cooking some of your favorite cruise line foods. Or better yet, make your minions do it!
Go here for the recipe and detailed instructions for Carnival’s famous melting chocolate cake. I also recommend Princess’s fettuccine alfredo, Holland America’s bread and butter pudding, NCL’s macadamia nut hummus with roasted pineapple relish, Celebrity’s sangria recipe, and these Royal Caribbean drink recipes. You can also find many other Holland America recipes, including the famous Dutch pea soup served on Alaska sailings, in this cookbook available on Amazon (the soup is on page 53):
If you have a future cruise booked, spend hours planning what you’ll eat and drink each day by perusing cruise line food and beverage menus. You can find many recent sample menus here or by line:
Go back to #1 or proceed to #3 if you’re ravenous after reading them.
This one’s a three-fer. You can eat like you’re on a cruise, work on your Covid 19 (pounds), AND support local restaurants during these difficult times. Order daily take-out from your favorite neighborhood restaurants for delivery or grab-and-go. Replate your meal on some knockoff Royal Delft china and make your husband serve it to you while engaging in small talk, “is this the first cruise you’ve had cancelled due to a global pandemic, ma’am?”
Since a typical 7 night cruise features two “formal nights,” bust out your evening gown or tux twice a week for a fancy dinner of canned beans or shelf stable mac ‘n cheese.
Learn the art of folding your favorite cruise ship towel animals. There are many instructional videos on youtube or purchase this book available on Amazon:
Then stage them to tickle and delight (or traumatize) your family:
Dumbo’s hoarding all the toilet paper! In all fairness though, elephants need a lot.
It’s easy to lose track of the days on a cruise – every day feels like the weekend! Holland America fans will recognize the ingenious day-of-the-week floor mats in all ship elevators. After all, HAL caters to an older clientele and they don’t want anyone missing their pricey spa treatment!
The days can also begin to blend together while you’re stuck at home during your cancelled cruise and you risk missing the one thing on your calendar, your regular Sunday call with your mom (sorry, mom!). I couldn’t find any floor mats to purchase for home use, but I did find these cute day-of-the-week kitchen towels that can serve a similar function:
This is one way my life hasn’t changed at all since Covid.
Set up a “washy, washy” station at your front door and the entrance to your kitchen. Spray the hands of your children while singing, “washy washy, happy happy” and see how many times it takes them to say, “mom/dad, you’re so annoying!” The record is once (set by yours truly).
You may not think now is the appropriate time to play a prank on fellow members of the roll call group for your cancelled cruise, but I say it’s the perfect time! Emotions are high meaning logic and reasoning skills are low! I posted the first part of this video to the roll call group for my cancelled cruise on the Joy with caption: “Enjoying our first sea day. So thankful our cruise wasn’t cancelled after all!”
I received many confused and outraged responses. So fun!
To recreate it for your own group, search for a photo of a porthole, print it and cut out the middle, tape it to your computer screen over footage of moving ocean, and…viola!
Bust out the collection of cassette tapes from your youth and wonder aloud, “since when is Phil Collins considered an oldie???”
You can also post to cruise related Facebook groups this question: “My cruise is scheduled for [insert date]. Will it be cancelled?” Trust me, random people on the internet WILL have the definitive answer!
Hosted trivia games, focused on a variety of topics, are a popular cruise activity. While at home and not cruising, host a virtual cruise-themed trivia night for your friends and family. Be sure to only invite those who know nothing about cruising though (wait, why are you friends with them exactly?), so you’ll be guaranteed the grand prize:
For the most realistic effect, I included a small brown piece of soap that looked deceptively like poop.
And don’t forget to hog yourself a prime lounger!
If you feel comfortable and have the resources to do so, do what I did today and book a new cruise for a later date (don’t ask me for a date – remember that thing I said about random people on the internet?) and spend your time planning. Because planning a cruise is almost as much fun as being on a cruise. Not it’s not. But it’s better than making sourdough starter (although I did enjoy the 25 loaves of sourdough bread my neighbors dropped off in 2020). And with that…
Class Dismissed.
Optional homework (do you really think I’d give homework when you’re supposed to be on a cruise!): Post to the comments other ideas to occupy cruise lovers at home during a cancelled cruise. And don’t forget to subscribe to the blog (scroll up to the top right if on a computer or keep scrolling down if on a mobile device) and follow Prof. Cruise on your favorite social social media sites:
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