Twenty Things I Love About Holland America in 2022

Last month I took my first Holland America cruise since the pandemic, meaning it had been a few years since my prior one. And while I waxed nostalgic for some features of the good old days of HAL (Oprah’s book club, America’s Test Kitchen, experts in various fields who would give lectures, fruit crisps in the main dining room every night, no Covid trying to kill the cruise industry along with all of us), I was also reminded of the things I still love about Holland America.

I present my top 20 here both to inform those who are booked on or considering a cruise on her, but also for the big cheese at Holland America (picture me staring you down as you read these words, Stein Kruse) as a plea to retain these features and resist pressure from your peers to go bigger and splashier and to squeeze every last nickel and dime from the social security checks of your most loyal passengers. Because if there’s one thing I have in common with Holland America, it’s that we’re both unapologetically unhip. And that’s what makes us so great. Right? RIGHT?

I’ll interpret your sudden coughing fit as a yes and continue on to the top 20 things I love about Holland America:

1. Library/Explorations Cafe/New York Times

Both of my parents started out as librarians, in fact they met and fell in love working at the library, so it’s no surprise that I spend more time (by an order of magnitude) pre-cruise selecting my books than I do packing anything else. And it’s no surprise that I LOVE libraries and really appreciate the Holland America ships that still have large, comfy, well-stocked ones. Sadly, it seems that even HAL is moving away from them. However, you’ll also love ships that have the Explorations Cafe, presented by the New York Times. Relax there with a book or board game, a specialty coffee, and a delicious complimentary pastry. You can even read the New York Times for free via the Holland America Navigator app.

2. Promenade Decks

My second favorite thing to do on a cruise is to walk laps around the promenade deck while listening to an audio book and stalking wildlife (fun fact: that song Every Breath You Take by The Police was actually about Prof. Cruise and a whale). It’s a good thing too, because my first favorite thing to do on a cruise is eat like I’m building up a reserve of fat for a protracted winter hibernation.

While at 3 laps per mile, it would take me approximately 75,000 laps to avoid cracking the scale upon my return home, “ouch!,” it would be even worse if I didn’t get out there 2-3 times per day, sometimes early or late to avoid crowds and sometimes at peak hours to walk with a buddy or wave at the other regulars as they pass by me at what seems a sprinter’s pace, clearly having trained for this at the mall.

I’ve been sorely disappointed recently on several non-HAL ships with no promenade deck that wraps all the way around the ship and fully open to the public. I know what you Holland America loyalists are thinking: “serves her right!” And on this point, you are correct. Because if you love walking the promenade deck and understand that a small track on an open upper deck is NOT the same, Holland America is the line for you. Can I get an “amen” in the comments?

3. Fresh Flowers

I’ll save you the trouble, they’re real! Still, you’ll find them too perfect and spectacular and will doubt my credibility and grope them anyway: “OMG, they are real!” Holland America is known for having gorgeous fresh flowers onboard. It’s one of those small touches that really adds a lot to the experience and makes HAL unique.

4. Buffet Desserts

While certain other lines, not naming names to protect the guilty, display gorgeous looking cakes and pies that taunt your eyes but disappoint your buds, the small selection of pre-sliced and plated desserts available in the buffet on Holland America ships are just the opposite. While often not as impressive to look at, they will delight your tongue and may prompt you to recreate that famous scene from When Harry Met Sally: “I’ll have what she’s having!” And if that wasn’t enough, many HAL ships also offer a selection of hard ice cream (the Zuiderdam even had free waffle cones available), made-to-order crepes, warm bread pudding, and a special dessert in the evening that would otherwise only be available in the dining room.

5. Live Music Venues

With their signature Music Walk, multiple music venues located in close proximity, Holland America offers the BB King Blues Club, the Lincoln Center Stage for classical selections, Billboard Onboard for contemporary hits, and the new Rolling Stone Rock Room featured on HAL’s three youngest ships, the Nieuw Statendam, the Koningsdam, and the Rotterdam. In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m completely tone deaf, but I consider the live music on Holland America the best on any line.

6. Mid-sized Ships

While I’ve never met a cruise ship I haven’t liked, for the same price, dates, itinerary, and departure port, I’d run faster than a well-caffeinated cheetah away from a mega ship and toward a small to medium-sized vessel, like those for which Holland America is known. HAL ships hold between (roughly) 1300-2700 passengers, which is the perfect range by my estimation.

Not so small that I’m identified as the ship eccentric before the anchor is even raised, “I hope I don’t get stuck at a table with her for dinner,” but not so large that it takes me 14 days of determined looking before I find the martini bar: “where can a gal find shaken vodka, chocolate liqueur, creme de cacao, and heavy cream around here?”

7. Unique Itineraries

While I’ll cruise anywhere at any time short of Iowa during a presidential campaign season (I know you can’t cruise to Iowa – I just wanted to vent that I find U.S. politics exhausting), I’m particularly fond of the itineraries available on Holland America. Two of my favorite cruises ever were a 14-night sailing to Alaska on HAL, visiting some very uncommon ports like Homer, Anchorage (proper), and Kodiak and this last 10-night Sea of Cortez sailing on the Zuiderdam, again visiting some very uncommon ports, this time in Mexico: La Paz, Loreto, Guaymas, and Topolobampo.

8. Free Room Service

My two favorite f-words combined. Free and food. I’d even go so far as to use that other f-word (beep) to crudely celebrate the free room service on Holland America: f**k yeah! While many other lines have started charging for most room service items, it remains complimentary on Holland America (with the exception of a few premium selections). You can find the menu HERE.

9. Minimal Kids

I mean, it’s bad enough that I have to cruise with the smell and scream of my own kid. But a bunch of other people’s kids? Don’t they have grandparents with doorsteps you can dump them off on as you skid out of the driveway yelling, “see you in a week, suckers!” Kidding, kidding (mostly). I generally love kids and deeply appreciate those who are kind and patient with my son when we travel. But I admit to enjoying the smaller number of kids on most Holland America sailings.

There were even fewer kids (a baker’s dozen if that) on my last HAL cruise because all passengers had to be fully vaccinated and kids 5-11 had only become eligible for the vaccine a bit over a month prior. My 9 year-old felt a bit like a rare animal at the zoo as our fellow passengers were both fascinated by him and a little mad that he was there (that kid belongs in the wild).

10. Full Service Buffet

While I actually toggle back and forth between loving and hating this, it’s something that, pre-Covid, was unique to Holland America (it’s like they saw Covid coming years ago and decided to be ready), so I decided to include it.

I’m something like a pig at a trough at a buffet. If I didn’t fear a lifetime ban, I’d stick my whole face in a vat of mac and cheese, coming up only for air and dessert. Maybe that’s what prompted Holland America to have staff serve most items at the buffet. And while I acknowledge the wisdom in trying to limit the spread of germs and cut down on food waste, sometimes this leads to longer waits and smaller portions than I’ve come to expect at a buffet: “another six scoops please, so I don’t have to wait in this line again for seconds and thirds and….”

On a wholly positive note, I love the drink service in the buffets on Holland. Instead of having to get your own drinks – leading to extra trips, and an unintended wet t-shirt contest when two guests wielding water and lemonade collide – servers will come around to your table and offer you a variety of complimentary beverages (or bar service) and will refill your glass as necessary.

11. Enrichment

While the enrichment programs on my last HAL cruise didn’t measure up to prior cruises (some of that may be due to gearing back up after Covid – this was the Zuiderdam’s very first post-Covid sailing), it was still very good and leaps and bounds better than what many lines offer.

I especially enjoyed the EXC multi-media lectures given by our cruise director (although I miss the days when HAL had experts from various fields onboard to give such lectures) and our Mexican cultural ambassador who led a variety of classes related to Mexican art, food, and culture. Here are some photos from her paper flower making class, which my son especially enjoyed:

Also, do you either love to cook or marvel at others who can cook well because you nearly burned down your college dorm as the result of an ill-advised attempt to warm soup in a toaster (what, I was too lazy to walk down the hall to the shared kitchen)? Well you’ll love Holland America’s “Port to Table” cooking demonstrations, presented by one of the ship’s chefs and the cruise director. While it’s a downgrade from the former “America’s Test Kitchen,” it’s still educational and entertaining.

12. Delft China

I love the signature blue and white Delft china on Holland America almost as much as the food served on it. No I don’t. Still though, it’s beautiful.

13. Memory Aids

The first rule of business? Know your customers. And it seems Holland America knows me particularly well. I almost never know what day it is, especially on vacation, and often find myself lost, wondering, “which direction am I walking?” And after a few drinks, sometimes I even forget which ship I’m on: “Well no wonder I can’t find O’Sheehans, I’m on the Eurodam!”

I love the “day of the week” rugs in the elevators (where do I get a set of these for my apartment?) and, while some lines have hallway carpet with fish swimming in the direction of the front of the ship, that’s far to subtle for me. I prefer “FORWARD” with a clear arrow.

14. Friendly, Kind Crew

The crews on Holland America ships are among the friendliest, most helpful, and professional of any line I’ve sailed. It’s always a pleasure to speak with them, learning more about their lives and home countries. And I truly appreciate how hard they work (usually to send money back home to support their families), going above and beyond to provide me with such a unique and wonderful experience. I always bring some extra $20 bills along to distribute on the last day to express my appreciation to my wait team, room steward, and the children’s programming staff (in addition to the automatic gratuity). I found these cute crew thank you cards on Amazon that I put the extra tip in along with a personal note of thanks:

15. Art And Artifacts

In 2018, Holland America contracted with ArtLink, a London-based art curator, replacing Park West Gallery which supplies most other cruise lines. The art on display and available to purchase is exclusive to Holland America and comes from emerging artists and from ports visited by the line.

You’ll find millions of dollars worth of art and artifacts throughout your Holland America ship. For example, HAL’s newest ship, the Rotterdam features pieces (photography, painting, sculptures, mixed media, illustration, and prints) by artists from 37 different nationalities that focus on themes of music, dance, and movement. The 2,645 piece collection is valued at 4.1 million dollars.

16. BBC Earth Experiences

A partnership with BBC Earth provides Holland America cruisers with theater screenings of BBC Earth programming as well as magnificent concert events that combine live orchestra music with dramatic footage from BBC Earth. I especially enjoyed “Alaska in Concert,” featured on my Alaska cruise aboard the Zaandam and “Planet Earth II” on my most recent cruise onboard the Zuiderdam.

17. The Step One Dance Company

The main theater onboard your Holland America cruise will feature several evening performances from the Step One Dance Company, six world-class dancers who will wow you with, at times pulsing and at other times moving, choreographic sequences coupled with dramatic projected video images. Their show entitled, “Humanity” remains one of my all-time favorite cruise ship production shows. Don’t miss it!

18. Extensive MDR Breakfast Menu

I love cruise breakfasts and particularly enjoy a more relaxed and less chaotic experience in the main dining room. However, I also like lots of choices, particularly on long sailings, and sometimes find cruise line breakfast menus pretty limited (especially as a vegetarian). But the breakfast menu on Holland America is extensive and offers dozens of choices to satisfy both the egg on my right shoulder and the doughnut on my left shoulder, shouting at my brain to, “order savory,” “no, order sweet,” “savory!,” “sweet!” “Calm down, you two! I’ll order both the eggs benedict AND the croissant and bread pudding.” Plus, there’s vegetarian sausage available (Morningstar Farms Veglinks), which I’ve never seen on anther line. You can find the 2022 breakfast menu HERE.

19. Dive In

In my estimation, Holland America’s casual burger and hot dog joint, Dive In, is the best at sea. It’s so good I’d battle weekday traffic and pay $35 (Seattle prices) for “The Freestyle” portabella mushroom burger and a side of fries in a suburban strip mall on land. And I’m currently printing flyers offering a reward to anyone who can reverse engineer the recipe for Dive In sauce.

We ordered every burger and dog on the 2022 menu (updated to include vegetarian “Beyond Meat” patties and brats) on our last cruise onboard the Zuiderdam. You should do the same on your next HAL cruise (you can tell them Prof. Cruise made you do it, they’ll understand) and let me know in the comments which was your favorite.

20. Sophisticated And Subdued

If you’re looking for a floating amusement park, you’ll never get back the time it took you to labor through the previous 19 points. Points you now realize are totally irrelevant because Holland America is clearly not the line for you. Sorry about that – I should have started with this one. But if you enjoy a certain level of sophistication or aspire to sophistication even though you laugh at the occasional fart joke and consider flip-flops appropriate formal wear (what, they’re comfy and easy to pack), you’ll love HAL. For her art, for her music, for her flowers, for her food, for her service, for her enrichment activities, and for the best dam ships at sea. And with that…

Class Dismissed.

Homework (10 points): Share your favorite features of Holland America cruises in the comments and review the following recent Prof. Cruise lectures related to Holland America:

Holland America Complimentary Dining Menus 2022

Holland America Bar Menus and Drink Prices 2022

Holland America Specialty Restaurant Menus 2022

A Review of Brunch at Pinnacle Grill on Holland America

A Review of Holland America’s ms Zuiderdam

A Review and Tour of an Inside Cabin on Holland America’s ms Zuiderdam

Holland America’s Ms Eurodam Review And Ship Tour

A Tale Of Two Staterooms: Prof. Cruise Reviews A Balcony Cabin On Holland America’s Ms Eurodam

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