San Juan: The Forts, Churches, Museums, Cemeteries, and Architecture of Old Town

I’ve been to Old San Juan twice, once on the Carnival Conquest and once on the Carnival Freedom (see my detailed ship review here).  I was joined on both sailings by my teaching/travel assistant “H” and my mom who also serves as my administrative assistant, supplying me with toothpaste and deodorant when we travel together and ensuring I remember important occasions like my anniversary and my kid’s birthday.  On both visits to Old San Juan, we elected to explore the area on our own in lieu of an organized tour or ship excursion.  Here are the places we visited:

The Oldest Playground in Old San Juan

On our first trip to Old San Juan we visited a giant playground from the 1700’s, Fort San Cristóbal. Those kids in the 1700’s had it made! Loooong, dark tunnels to run through (I was having so much fun, I ran out of breath and had to sit down – AKA a panic attack), circle stairs to climb (my mom/admin loved those as much as I loved the tunnels), and H’s favorite, the big slides (a little rough and bumpy, though – I guess they didn’t have plastic back then). And talk about some realistic looking dungeons!

There were also a bunch of lookout spots to see if your parents were coming so you could hide your cigarettes. Some of you secret balcony smokers know what I’m talking about, not that I’m touching that with a 10 foot pole.

Even though I had to get therapy and my mom/admin a hip replacement after, we thought it was worth the inexpensive entrance fee.

Cost: $7 adults, kids and youth under 16 are free.  Fees will increase to $10 on 1/1/2020. Price includes both Fort San Cristóbal and Fort San Felipe del Morro.

Difficulty level: Moderate/difficult depending on mobility and fitness level.

Extra credit: Bring your National Park Pass to get in for free.

Feed the Birds

We also found these birds to chase, I mean feed. I posted this adorable photo of H on Facebook and one of my friends from Puerto Rico pointed out that many doves at el Viejo San Juan carry, like, the plague. No biggie, all the dog kisses and floor food he’s eaten over the years has given him an immune system of steel.

What did you do on Vacation? I Visited the Cemetery (in Old San Juan)!

On my second visit to Old San Juan, I had two goals. Well three. Well four (just kidding, three). Tour a free museum, visit the cemetery, and don’t get lost. I guess one out of three ain’t bad.

I could have sworn I disembarked with a map instead of the folded up love letter I’d been composing for our captain (marry a cruise ship captain, #goals).  But, never one to admit defeat, I assured everyone that I knew the way to the cemetery. We walked (up hill) and walked (up more hills) and walked (down some creepy stairs) until we reached an area with a bunch of burned out houses, at which point my mom/admin whispered to my T.A., H: “Do you think Prof. Cruise is trying to have me taken out before I spend all her inheritance money on Viking cruises? On three, RUN!”

Well before she got to three, we rounded a corner and before us: a Christmas miracle. It was an entrance to Cementerio Del Viejo San Juan, “Santa María Magdalena De Pazzis.” And as odd as it is to visit the cemetery on vacation, it was beautiful and peaceful. Have a look (and see if you can identify something out of place in the first photo):

What did you do on Vacation? I Saw Donald Duck (in the Cemetery…in Old San Juan)

Did you spot him? Little tip, when you’re trying to teach your “H” about “respectful,” don’t take him to a cemetery with plastic Disney figurines adorning the graves. Also, be prepared to explain death to him while you, yourself, are still trying to figure out why none of the statues have arms.

Moving on. We exited the cemetery through this tunnel:

Which took us out to the entrance of the Fort San Felipe del Morro.

I guess if you wanted a more direct route to the cemetery, you could just follow the signs for del Morro (how boring).

What Else did you do on Vacation? I Went to Church.

Although the original San Juan Bautista Cathedral was destroyed in a hurricane, the current building dates back to 1540. It’s almost as old as Prof. Cruise felt after hiking all those hills. Historical documents reveal that new arrivals to Puerto Rico, fresh off their ship, would visit the church to thank God for their safe passage. You might want to stop there to thank God for avoiding the Norovirus. Or to gaze upon the gorgeous gothic facade.

A Museum, Just Not the Museum

So, did I ever find my free museum? Well I (a) lost my map with the name of the place on it and (b) didn’t speak the language. What do you think?

Instead we stumbled upon the Museo De Las Américas around the area of del Morro. Even though there was a $6 per adult charge and even though we were confused as to why people kept emphasizing to us that “the museum is closed for lunch from noon-1” (we were still on ship time and didn’t realize that only gave us 45 minutes at the museum before they closed), we decided to go for it. And we’re glad we did. It was a great little museum on the second floor of a beautiful building with a giant open-air atrium in the middle.

Each room had a different theme from ancient history of the Americas to more modern art and even a few interactive pieces (H’s favorites).

One More Thing…

I can’t let you leave Old San Juan without some photos of her elegant streets and architecture. And keep in mind, we probably wouldn’t have seen half this stuff had we not lost our map. So, ditch the map and enjoy your day in Old San Juan!

Before I let you go, let’s share a brief moment of silence for the nearly 3,000 Puerto Ricans who lost their lives due to hurricane Maria. We feel lucky to have seen this beautiful, historic, and resilient place and hope you’ll enjoy it as much as we did.

Class dismissed.

*Check out my other Caribbean port posts here. And don’t forget to subscribe to the blog (scroll up to the top right if on a computer or keep scrolling if on a mobile device) and follow me on social media:

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