Tips For Getting Reluctant Cruisers On Board: A Guest Lecture

Today’s guest lecture comes to us from my better half, Mr. Cruise.  And by better, I mean taller and more articulate. 

He’s the perfect person to discuss today’s topic, “tips for getting reluctant cruisers on board,” because I almost divorced him on our honeymoon when I realized he didn’t love cruising as much as I did. He’s since realized the error of his ways and is now an expert on how to gently persuade sheepish cruisers to heel-toe it up the gangway as opposed to my approach which involves brute force and dangling my wedding ring over the promenade deck while threatening: “learn to love cruising or else!”

But don’t get too attached to Mr. Cruise and his effective use of extended analogies – he’s busy keeping me in cruises with a real job. I’ll be back next time with my flat jokes and highly amusing wardrobe malfunctions.

Tips For Getting Reluctant Cruisers On Board

By: Mr. Cruise

Introduction

We all need more cruise buddies, if only because solo cruising is expensive.  So, what do you do if your potential travel companions are reluctant cruisers? Or, worse, they have the wrong impression and when they think “cruise” they think of the following drawbacks, in no particular order: swarms of spring breakers, norovirus, seasickness, boredom, claustrophobia, and/or too much chain-style eating from Guy Fieri[1]/Johnny Rockets branded restaurants.  All bad things!

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[1] Actually, the Guy Fieri stuff gets a bad rap.  I’ve never had a bad meal – Guy’s Burger Joint on Carnival is quite good.  Recommend the “The Ringer” or the (sigh) “Chilius Maximus.”

I, too, thought cruises were full of Bad Things.  I’ve since converted.  I went from lukewarm to excited about cruising over the course of eight years.  I’ve taken nine cruises with companions ranging from 1-70 years old, from 7-21 days, and with just immediate family to large family reunions with 20 people, with varying levels of enthusiasm.  So, I wanted to provide some thoughts on how to get your reluctant cruisers engaged and interested.  The beauty of a cruise vacation is that there really and truly is something for EVERYONE, but for purposes of this post, you need to think of your potential companion or companions as a baby horse. 

Part I: The Planning Process

The major key — do NOT spook your Horse — make a great first impression, even at the planning stages.

Length / Departure Ports:

Start with 5-8 days, with at least two sea days.  Stay in the same time zone if you can.  For Mountain time, that probably means a Pacific time cruise.  You don’t want jet lag or a long flight prior to embarkation to start things off on a bad mood or interfere with the chances of a good time. 

Cruise Line / Ports: 

When selecting the cruise line and destination ports, consider and eliminate obvious pet peeves or distractions.  If your Horse is an introvert, a Carnival cruise over spring break or a large/crowded ship should be avoided.  If your Horse only speaks English and is spooked by a large proportion of non-English speakers or signage, then itineraries which focus on Mexico or Central America may be alienating.  If your partner is sensitive to cold, Alaska in September or Canada/New England in October may be a challenge.

Activities: 

This is a little bit different, but I’ve found that it’s best to focus on the variety of activities available instead of trying to build on previous likes that your Horse has shown on previous vacations.  The reason this is important is that taken separately most cruise activities on the lines we have been on grade out as good but not great.  The main dining room might disappoint a “foodie” since no matter how good it is it’s still a restaurant of mass production.  A Vegas aficionado might find the ship’s casino a little lacking, and a bibliophile might not be into the ship’s library that has ten dog-eared copies of the same Sue Grafton novel. 

On the ship, V is for variety, so lean into it.  Cruises have so much to do, but if your Horse is an experienced vacationer or picky, you might be setting them up for disappointment by over-selling parts of the experience rather than the whole. 

Part II:  Now we’re on board!

Key here is to plan on a friendly pasture-like environment where your Horse can graze a bit and get comfortable.

Explore, explore, explore. 

The best part of a cruise vacation is the variety of experiences in a small space.  There’s so much different to do that you will never know what the “hook” will be for your Horse.  They may wind up being bridge fanatics, or really liking the old-school entertainment (my son “H,” for instance, really loves ventriloquists).  If your evening meal is scheduled for after the next day’s itinerary is dropped off at your room, dinner is always a good time to pick some next-day ideas, to keep your Horse excited and looking forward to the next day.  Be wary of overscheduling, but aim to try one or two new things per day on the ship.        

Do not limit yourself to free activities. 

To the extent you can budget for this, allow for some flexibility/serendipity in paid activities.  We’re cheap, so general preference is for activities and dining that are included in the fare, but if your Horse is excited by the possibility of a specialty meal or a trip to the spa or indulging in the drink of the day or a funky shore excursion, loosen the reigns and try it.  I particularly like the Moderno Steakhouse on Norwegian ships and the coffee card on Princess.  

Relax and bring some “home” with you. 

Part of what makes cruising so great as compared to other more hectic vacations is the downtime is there if you need it.  Since you will have at least a few sea days, understand that your Horse may want to bring some “home” with them.  For me, that’s video games and books. 

For others, it may be downloading Netflix series and/or shows and movies that they want to catch up on or taking some time on a sea day to watch their favorite sports.  For some members of our family, it is booking time in the casino.  Also, they may want some pay-for-convenience services, such as an internet package or laundry.

Part III: Back to the stable – managing the disembarkation process

Try to limit the number of touch-points and different service providers in the disembarkation process. 

For us, self-assist works as we pack light and are able to get off the ship early.  Luggage valet might also work well.  If you are unfamiliar with the disembarkation port (and if it’s Seattle you have NO EXCUSE to be), consider booking an airport transfer through the cruise line or even booking airfare through the cruise line if available.  You don’t want to have to coordinate multiple service providers if you can avoid it. 

Plan ahead and limit waiting time as much as you can. 

Even though no one is happy to get off the boat, having a smooth return process is key, and you’ll need to start getting your paperwork and baggage tags in order the day before.  If you rush or handle it last minute, you’ll invariably sit in a long line at customer service either the day before or the day of embarkation, and there will be enough waiting involved in the disembarkation process (either at the airport or at customs or both) that you want to streamline any waiting time spent on-ship. 

Conclusion

For cruise lovers, be patient with your horse — foals aren’t born knowing how to arena jump. And to my fellow reluctant cruisers, give it a real chance. Try several different lines and itineraries to find what works best for you. I’m glad I did. And with that…

Class Dismissed.

*If these tips don’t work for your reluctant cruiser, that shouldn’t stop you from cruising. Check out Prof. Cruise’s complete guide to solo cruising here. And don’t forget to follow the blog to receive new posts directly in your e-mail (scroll up to the top right if on a computer or keep scrolling down if on a mobile device) and follow Prof. Cruise on social media:

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