One of the loyalty benefits available to Platinum and Elite level Princess cruisers as well as suite and, as I discovered, “honored” guests is access to an exclusive onboard lounge.
This lounge goes by different nicknames and is open during different times and located in a different spot depending on the ship. I hope Princess is keeping an eye on the “Elite Lounge” AKA the “Platinum and Elite Lounge” AKA the “Platinum, Elite, and Suite Lounge” AKA the “EPS Lounge” AKA the “Captain’s Circle Lounge” AKA the “Loyalty Lounge” for early signs of an identity crisis. For simplicity sake, I’m going to refer to it as the “Elite Lounge.”
With only four prior Princess cruises under my buffet pants, my OceanMedallion was still a shameful shade of red, something akin to Dorothy’s slippers, on my recent sailing aboard the Majestic Princess. However, I received the following letter in my stateroom identifying me as an “honored guest” and inviting me to take advantage of the “Exclusive Elite Lounge” (another name variation to add to the list):
I thought there must’ve been a mistake as I’d never been invited to anything exclusive before, but it was on very official looking Princess letterhead and had my name on it twice, so I ultimately judged it as legit and made the decision to attend on an evening when I had a later dinner reservation.
Now, what to wear? I figured this would probably be on the same scale as the Met Gala, so I googled, “what do the elite wear to the Met Gala,” and upon realizing I hadn’t packed any Oscar de la Renta, a gown with a controversial political statement written on it, or gold armor, I settled on some black leggings paired with a polka dot blouse and my black dress Crocs.
Don’t look for me in next month’s issue of Vogue unless you want to waste $5.99 and an hour of precious life.
On the way to the lounge I started to panic that maybe I was supposed to have prepared a speech: “I’d like to start by thanking God, my family, and the Captain.” Here we go…
It turns out the “Elite Lounge” on the Majestic Princess only exists between the hours of 4:30pm-6:30pm on select nights. After that the ship magician transforms it back into the Hollywood Conservatory by removing two signs and a small buffet: “abracadabra…hey can someone grab the other end of this here table?”
Here’s a tour of the Hollywood Conservatory before the commoners are shooed away:
Anyway, before my big toe fully crossed the exclusive threshold as marked by the above sign placed at the entrance, I was stopped by a crew member and asked, “are you supposed to be here?” to which I responded, “clearly not, but I received an invitation in my cabin.” She looked skeptical, (commoner!) but let me proceed anyway.
I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, maybe some balloons or fireworks or a circus act, but if the “Elite Lounge” was Ashley Olsen, the Hollywood Conservatory was Mary-Kate (in other words, identical down to the scowls and prolific eye makeup, for those too young to know the best television show ever produced):
At least there was food though!
A small buffet was set up with smoothie shots, various appetizers and breads, and that night’s special: a shrimp fountain. I didn’t partake of the fountain because in my view those are only for chocolate and granting wishes. The crew member manning the buffet got kind of mad when I threw a penny in there.
I did, however, partake of a bowl of mac ‘n cheese so small it could have been served on a miniature table in Barbie’s Dream House. And delicious enough to have been worthy. Seriously, it was so good I went back for fifteen more servings before remembering I was supposed to be acting like I’d been there before. I delicately wiped the edges of my mouth with a napkin before hiding all the empty bowls in a plant.
Here was the Elite Lounge menu for the full week:
And here were the drink specials:
No, your device isn’t slow to load. There’s no photo or list of the Elite Lounge drink specials, because there were no drink specials. At least as far as I could tell. A server came around to see if I wanted anything to drink, but I just ordered water because I thought it would blow my cover once and for all if I asked, “so are there cheap drinks at this thing or what?”
I’ve been told by some of my cruise friends that normally there’s a list of six or so drink specials priced at around $6.50 + 18% gratuity.
I disembarked the Majestic Princess, my fifth Princess cruise, a legit Platinum member of the Captain’s Circle (Princess’s loyalty program) with future access to the “Elite Lounge,” no special invitation required. So will I visit it again in the future? While I found the whole experience a bit underwhelming and, honestly, a little awkward, on my next Princess cruise I plan to hold my Platinum Medallion up high and confidently spoil my dinner with ALL the Barbie bowls of mac ‘n cheese! And with that…
Class Dismissed.
Homework (10 points): Share your experience with the Elite Lounge in the comments and review my most recent Princess-related lectures:
Majestic Princess Mini-Suite Review and Tour
Princess Cruise Line’s OceanNow Food And Beverage Delivery Menu 2022
Preparing For Your Princess Cruise in 2022
Princess Cruise Line’s 2022 Dinner Menus
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