Ideas for a Long Port Day in Honolulu
Our long day at port in Honolulu was a significant occasion for both my T.A.,”H,” and for my husband Eric. For H because he would celebrate his half dozenth birthday there and for Eric because, after five days at sea slowly losing his eyesight to video games followed by a day battling his worst enemy, nature, in Hilo, he was back in a big city and behind the wheel of a car where he could steer us, when he tired of the Pacific Ocean and palm trees, toward high rises and strip malls. And me, Prof. Cruise? I was jazzed to experience the unique landscape of Honolulu, but also looking forward shave ice and matcha. And matcha shave ice.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles…and Taxis, Trolley’s, Boats and Buses!
We found ourselves on seven different forms of transportation on this 15 day cruise to Hawaii. We took the train from Seattle to San Francisco to board a bus to the cruise pier where we boarded our boat to Hawaii. Then we took a taxi around Hilo, a trolley around Kauai, a smaller boat snorkeling in Maui, and a plane back home from San Francisco to Seattle.
More than anything, we were looking forward to our automobiles in Hilo and Honolulu. Renting a car would mean taking things at our own pace and seeing and experiencing exactly what our hearts desired, like sugary frozen desserts. Plus it would allow for frequent bathroom stops for H. Actually for Prof. Cruise, but it’s his fault I have a weak bladder. I know correlation does not equal causation, but I never had to pee three times a night prior to six years ago. Just sayin.
But despite having a rental car reserved in Hilo, we ended up with no car. You can read about this high drama on the high seas here. So when I called for the rental car shuttle upon our arrival in Honolulu, I was readying my most indignant voice for when the Thrifty employee came on the line to say, “we have no cars,” followed by a more conciliatory tone communicating understanding and forgiveness when she followed up with, “but we’ll pay for your taxi.”
Thrifty Saves the Day
“Thrifty” is the polite word people use to describe me when they really mean “cheap” and now it’s my favorite rental car company. Instead of “we have no cars,” the friendly Thrifty shuttle dispatcher said, “we’ll be there in 10 minutes to deliver you to your CAR.”
And sure enough they pulled up in front of The Old Spaghetti Factory where I almost ditched a whole day of plans in Honolulu for browned butter and mizithra cheese I can get at home in Seattle. Seriously, you need to make room for some of that in your buffet pants and your Honolulu plans if you don’t have this locally.
But you should note that the Grand Princess was docked at the alternative cruise pier, Pier 11. The Thrifty shuttle offers pick-up and drop-off services at both Pier 2 and Pier 11, but the browned butter and mizithra? Only at Pier 11. You can check to see where your ship will be docked in Honolulu here. Just tell the Thrifty operator when you call and if you’re at Pier 2, you can drive immediately back to Pier 11 for some of that butter soaked spaghetti covered in tangy salt-dried cheese.
After a 20 minute shuttle ride taking me further and further away from pasta that makes me think a trip to Italy is pretty much pointless, we arrived at Thrifty where we hopped the short line “sorry sorry” due to being Blue Chip members and received a free upgrade from a compact to a Nissan Altima.
At 6’4″ the circus once tried to recruit my husband Eric when they saw him exiting our miniature car purchased for downtown Seattle-sized parking spaces and he requires a neck adjustment, craaaack, from the chiropractor after a two block drive to Target. So he was excited for the extra space of the Altima.
Me? I was having flashbacks of pancaked orange cones as I attempted to parallel park a 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera in Driver’s Ed. So I surrendered the keys to Bozo in a trade for control of the tunes. And with Post Malone on the radio and my mom quietly wondering if this music was appropriate for her grandson (he’s six now, grandma, he’s old enough to understand that “lit” just means his mother has taken full advantage of her beverage package), we were off!
Thrifty Rental Car Honolulu Cruise Port
Address: 2002 Kalakaua Avenue
Cost: Will vary depending on model and date, but I paid $135 for a full weekend day
To Book: Go here to book online
Extra Credit: Join the free Blue Chip program here to skip to the front of the line. We also got a free upgrade and were able to add a spouse for free.
Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve
We stopped here first so Eric could get it over with. By the time we arrived around 10am, the parking lot was already full, so Eric let us out at a scenic viewpoint across the street and parked in a residential area down the hill. Arrive as early as possible or more toward the evening for a better shot at a space in the parking lot (parking is $1). Otherwise, make sure to bring a hearty soul along to hike back up the hill from the street parking.
Once we paid our $7.50 admission fee (kids 12 and under, active military, and locals with ID are free), we viewed a short, required video and walked down a steep hill to the bay. There is a shuttle available for a small charge if you don’t want to walk.
This unique circular-shaped Bay was formed within a volcanic cone. Efforts began in the 1990’s to restore the damaged ecosystem within the bay and today conservation efforts continue with a marine education center and a mandatory 9 minute video educating new visitors about the delicate reefs and marine life and providing safety information.
There was snorkel gear available for rent, although we brought our own so I can’t speak to it. It was a weekend day when we visited, so the crowded water didn’t make for ideal snorkeling conditions, but when I ventured further out, I saw beautiful coral reefs and some tropical fish I was later able to identify in photos at a volunteer operated conservation booth on the beach. I didn’t find Nemo, but I did find these:
We had a lovely half-day at this beautiful spot.
Getting there: 7455 Kalanianaole Hwy, Hon, Hawaii. You can also catch the #22 bus from Waikiki or a shuttle from Waikiki.
Hours: 6am-6pm. CLOSED every Tuesday as well as Christmas Day and New Years Day.
Admission: $7.50 for adults and children over 12. Active military, locals with ID, and children 12 and under are free.
Hālona Blowhole
A bit further along on Honolulu’s Kalanianaole Highway is the Halona (meaning “lookout”) Blowhole. Thousands of years ago volcanic activity formed the molten lava tubes that resulted in this natural wonder.
If you missed seeing humpback whales because you didn’t take my recommendation for a snorkel excursion in Maui, you can still view a blowhole here. But instead of the steam and snot you see coming out of a whale’s blowhole (which functions as its nose), you’ll see salt water from the Pacific Ocean spraying into the air in dramatic fashion. Not as impressive (i.e. gross) as whale snot to your six year old, but still pretty cool.
Park your car for free in the lot and proceed to the viewing area. You may have to stand there for a bit, but don’t give up! A good lesson in patience for Prof. Cruise: “do we have any snacks?” But just as I tore into a bag of fish crackers (maybe not the best choice after we just finished snorkeling), the crowd gasped and cameras flashed as this happened:
Lunch at Uncle Clay’s House of Pure Aloha
We skipped the Spam and went straight for Hawaii’s other notable food specialty: shave ice. But this wasn’t the sickly sweet snow cone of my youth that would melt and stain my hands and clothes leaving me no choice but to confess to my mom that I’d spent my lunch money at the Snow Shack. At Uncle Clay’s you get natural, homemade syrups with ingredients sourced locally and fresh delicious toppings. You can view the menu here. We went with a Classic Rainbow, a Uji Kintoki, a Strawberry Dream, and “The Ultimate.” They were all topped with a big scoop of vanilla bean ice cream.
Uji Kintoki Classic Rainbow The Ultimate
Uncle Clay’s has two locations, one closer to the cruise port at the Lanai Mall and one in a strip mall closer to Hanauma Bay and the Blowhole. You can find the addresses here. And you should find yourself there. Trust me, I know my desserts.
Downtown Honolulu and a Second Lunch of Dessert
We finished out the rest of our day in downtown Honolulu where H spent his birthday money on a punching frog pen and an iron man portable fan. And where I partook of a second lunch of dessert in the form of this matcha soft serve parfait from Cafe Maiko. I would swim from Seattle to Honolulu just for this.
Final Thoughts on Honolulu and our Birthday Boy
In summary, Honolulu has something for everyone. And is a particularly great place to celebrate a birthday! So cancel your ‘safari chic’ Pinterest party which might result in some awesome photos for Instagram – once you Photoshop out your overwhelmed and sobbing birthday boy – so the popular girls from high school can see how perfect your life turned out. And book a relaxing, stress-free day in Honolulu with a shave ice “cake” prepared by Uncle Clay. Or you can proceed with your original plan which will lead to twelve failed attempts to form fondant into a giraffe in a black sheath dress and ballet flats. Totally up to you.
And just so you don’t think my T.A. H’s life involves nothing but grading and coming up with excuses for why I never show up for class (I was a T.A. for a Health Psychology class in grad school and the professor showed up exactly zero times, so I just figure that’s how it works), here’s his 6th birthday video documenting our adventures over the past year and offering proof that life with Prof. Cruise isn’t all bad.
And my life with this little man has been my most challenging and extraordinary adventure yet.
So book yourself a car and have your own adventure (and two lunches of dessert) in Honolulu!
Class Dismissed.
Homework assignment: Please review my lecture on Hilo here, my lecture on Kauai here, and my lecture on Maui here.
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