Cruise Humor

Further Cuts and Changes Coming to Carnival Cruises

Breaking Carnival Cruise News: More Cuts and Changes Coming!

After overwhelmingly positive feedback to recently announced cutbacks, including no more 24 hour pizza, eliminating late-night buffet snacks, an earlier closing time for the Seaday Brunch, and a change in how morning room service is ordered, Carnival has announced further cuts and changes. Among them:

Carnival Switching to Half Caff Coffee

Carnival will be switching all complimentary regular coffee to half caff. Coffee drinkers will now have the option of either paying for fully caffeinated coffee at the coffee bar or consuming double the amount of complimentary coffee they normally drink.

Swipe to Enter Public Restrooms

In another totally unrelated change, Carnival will start charging for the use of onboard public restrooms. A press release described the change like this:

Simply swipe your card and for a small fee conveniently charged to your onboard account, you will have immediate access to our clean and convenient public restroom facilities. Please note that anyone caught holding the door open for others will be required to disembark at the next port and turned over to local authorities.

New Packing Tips

In light of these changes, here are some items I’d now recommend packing for your Carnival Cruise:

What are your Thoughts on the Recent Cuts and Changes on Carnival?

While obviously this post is satire (unless you haven’t had your first fully caffeinated cup of coffee of the day, in which case I apologize for any panic or confusion I may have caused), I’m curious to hear your thoughts on the actual cuts and changes Carnival has made lately. Post to the comments what you think of them.

As for me, I’m most disappointed in the new closing time for the Seaday Brunch – from 1pm to noon. Not because I usually dine at that time (although I do sometimes go twice on the same day – once for an early breakfast and again for lunch), but because the Seaday brunch is so popular and can get so crowded AND because it will push more people to the buffet and other lunch venues. The more Carnival can spread passengers out among different dining venues, the better. Otherwise crowds, lines, and long waits will continue to get worse (especially as ships are now sailing at full capacity). In my opinion, Carnival needs to be EXTENDING hours at dining venues, not cutting them. And with that…

Class Dismissed.

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Prof. Cruise

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