Food and Drink

Carnival’s Melting Chocolate Cake Recipe Tested

I was rummaging through one of approximately thirty-two junk drawers in our apartment recently when I stumbled upon something decidedly not junk. In fact, it was a buried treasure, collected on my teaching/travel assistant H’s very first cruise aboard the Carnival Freedom

…with the intention of putting it to regular use when we got home.

But you know how life with a toddler is, less “warm chocolate melting cake” and more diaper blowouts that look like warm chocolate melting cake, but with a smell pungent enough to cause appetite loss so severe that even thinking about the best dessert at sea causes one to gag.

Fast forward to the present where my now six-year-old enjoys his own bathroom located across the apartment from where I eat, sleep, and recreate. And in addition to managing his own bodily functions, he’s also developed into quite a skilled chef’s assistant. So when I found this recipe, I was eager to give it a go with him. And it even inspired me to launch a new lecture series, “Cruise Recipes Tested,” so stay tuned for more of your favorites (feel free to post any requests in the comments).

Read to the end to find out if our attempt turned out as good as Carnival’s, but in the meantime, if you also want to try this recipe at home, here’s what you need to do:

Step 1: Prepare Your Work Space

And by “prepare,” I mean clear and clean your kitchen surfaces for the first time since the last time your mother-in-law was in town approximately two months ago. Drag the garbage bags to the dumpster, filling it to capacity and then hoist another ten bags on top, creating an avalanche hazard for curious raccoons: “warning, avalanche danger level high!”

Then post a photo of your spotless kitchen to Instagram with the caption: “just a typical day.”

By the way, if you’re wondering how much kitchen 4 grand a month gets you in downtown Seattle, there’s your answer. I keep trying to convince Mr. Cruise that when you factor in food, utilities, and entertainment it would be less expensive for us to live full-time on a cruise ship. Then he reminds me that one of us needs to work a real job to pay for us to live anywhere and that his current one is located in downtown Seattle, necessitating our overpriced apartment. To which I retort, “can’t you just bed down in your office and visit me on the ship every few months?”

Step 2: Gather Your Ingredients And Materials

I purchased these ramekins solely for this project, so I’ll need to repeat this recipe at least three times a week to justify the expense. Darn.

Step 3: Combine Your Ingredients

Don’t worry about the eggshell. There’s only a 1 in 4 chance it ends up in your portion.

Step 4: Quality Control

Step 5: Fill Your Ramekins

But don’t fill them evenly and be sure to smear some batter around the edges so any guests you plan on serving them to will know they’re homemade.

Step 5: Bake Your Warm Chocolate Melting Cake

A sharp pair of eyes will notice the clock on our oven reads 9:02. Yes, we were baking chocolate cake at 9:02am and would eat it 14 minutes later while still warm in lieu of breakfast. Don’t judge.

Step 6: Remove Your Warm Chocolate Melting Cake From The Oven

But don’t let your excitement cause you to forget an oven mitt. Emergency room doctor: “this is our 3rd case of burning by Carnival melting chocolate cake this week.”

Step 7: Pair Your Carnival Chocolate Melting Cake With TWO Scoops Of Vanilla Ice Cream While Still Warm

And if you’re cruising on Carnival anytime soon, it’s imperative that you ALWAYS request two ice creams with your chocolate melting cake. Trust me, I know cruise desserts better than my own two feet, which I haven’t seen in three years due to being an expert on cruise desserts.

Step 8: Compare Your Version To Carnival’s Version And Wonder If This Qualifies As A Pinterest Fail

And the verdict is: yes.

Step 9: But Who Cares! Eat It Before The Ice Cream Melts!

And then pass your crumbs over to Prof. Cruise who will lick them up with more intensity than a skinny stray unsure of where her next meal will come from.

How Did Our Warm Chocolate Melting Cake Compare To Carnival’s?

While the middle wasn’t as gooey as we prefer, it was delicious nonetheless. Next time, we’ll try this version posted online and slightly different than the version we received onboard several years ago. You know, for science.

This, our first test of a cruise ship recipe, was generally a success. However, we really missed this…

…and this…

Time to book another Carnival cruise! And with that…

Class Dismissed.

Homework (10 points): post your favorite cruise food to the comment section below and check out my Carnival ship reviews here. And be sure to pick up this “cruise ship calories don’t count” shirt before your next sailing!

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