“H” here filling in for Prof. Cruise as she recovers from her Easter overindulgences. Dad wondered if, being a vegetarian, she’d get her money’s worth from the $85 brunch at the Four Seasons. But as soon as he saw the “fill your Easter basket, candy bar” at the dessert station, he knew it would be a loss for the hotel.
Anyway, today’s lecture will cover St Martin / St Maarten as I offer my best tips for an easy, inexpensive, and beautiful port day at Great Bay Beach in Philipsburg. This is actually the perfect day for Prof. Cruise to call in “stuffed” because St Martin / St Maarten is seared in my brain as my very first cruise port and also marks the first time I ever dipped my piggies (AKA toes) into the ocean. I’ve since been there again and because I’m only in Kindergarten, I’m practically a resident of the place.
After waving goodbye to the big boat, “bye, big boat,” walk through the cruise terminal area, following the signs for “downtown.” You will exit the port area and take a left. Follow the sidewalk for about 10 minutes and you’ll end up in Philipsburg. There you’ll see signs to the beach – Great Bay Beach runs right along the town.
On both our trips to St Martin / St Maarten we stretched our legs and headed straight for Great Bay Beach. I’d just spent two sea days with Prof. Cruise – I needed to relax!
On our first visit, upon seeing Great Bay Beach, I thought, “this is the best beach I have ever seen!” Because it was the only beach I had ever seen. It had everything we needed though – loungers (grandma ponied up $15 for two loungers and an umbrella – they are readily available from a number of vendors), sand, and water. The water is supposed to be a bit polluted, but Prof. Cruise figured with all the organic, healthy crap she makes me eat, it probably all balances out in the end.
And it looks beautiful. Kind of like me. I’m adorable at first glance, but you don’t want to know what’s in my swim diaper after two days of cruise ship buffet food.
But the best part of my first visit to Great Bay Beach? The puppies! I played with them and pet them “nice.”
A word about the puppies. These two fortunate little fellas were found on the street and adopted by a couple of animal lovers like Prof. Cruise. Don’t tell daddy, but the love of Prof. Cruise’s life is her rescue dog, Henry. Prof. Cruise asked for the ugliest dog at the shelter (don’t worry, she used a different criteria in selecting daddy) and she got him!
He had been living on the streets for quite some time and had just about everything wrong with him. Prof. Cruise got him all fixed up – although she’s not the best at combing his hair, so he still looks homeless most of the time – and now he’s the sweetest, friendliest, most loving guy ever. Plus, he loves him some food just like Prof. Cruise. He thought it was some kind of cruel joke when he found out she was a vegetarian though. Thank goodness she married “Boss” who brought meat back into his life.
Anyway, there are a lot of homeless dogs in the Caribbean and that made Prof. Cruise sad. I didn’t really understand about that yet, so I got super excited when I saw them. Love me some dogs! Prof. Cruise almost risked getting arrested at Port Everglades to bring a few home. Then she found “I Love my Island Dog” and donated some money to them instead.
On our second trip to Great Beach Bay, Prof. Cruise was hot and tired – you all know by now that Prof. Cruise doesn’t do well with exercise and heat – so we cut directly down to the beach and Prof. Cruise ran toward the water like she was on fire, NOT stopping to rent a lounger like we did on our first visit.
We decided not to rent any loungers as we only used them for storage last time and the ground works perfectly well for that. So we plopped our stuff down on the sand in a large area between two loungers, taking advantage of the shade from one of the umbrellas and were no sooner asked to move. I guess you aren’t allowed to use the shade unless you pay for the chair.
It’s not a vacation with Prof. Cruise unless she gets kicked out of somewhere (Have I mentioned there was a movie made about her? It’s called “Wedding Crashers.”), so we moved over to an area at the end of the beach free of $15 shade. Good thing we didn’t pony up any cash too, because the clouds rolled in creating natural shade and our beach trip was short lived due to light rain. We had fun while it lasted though, building and, more importantly, destroying our first sandcastles of the trip.
Due to the rain, we did a bit more exploring around the shops in Philipsburg where Prof. Cruise broke my record for the number of “no’s” uttered in an hour. “Can I have that backpack that turns into a towel?” “No.” “Can I have a boozy umbrella drink?” “No.” “Couples massage on the beach?” “No.” And so on.
I’d resigned myself to leaving Philipsburg empty handed, stone sober, and single when a man walked by, passing out flyers with one of the plush monkeys I’d had my eye on around his neck. “No.” I hadn’t even asked yet!
I guess the man recognized the look of defeat on my face, because he generously gave me that monkey! I think there’s a common expression that applies here: when one gets kicked out of the shade, you get a free monkey. Or something like that. Anyway, it was further proof that there are kind people all over this world (just not Prof. Cruise).
Here’s my monkey.
His arms and legs velcro together and you can push a button to hear him screech. The fellow passengers on our flight home really enjoyed two hours of that. Somehow he ended up in the Goodwill donation bag when we got home.
Speaking of free – because we’re always speaking of free when Prof. Cruise is with us – Prof. Cruise needed to score some free internet to check her work e-mail and had no trouble doing so in Philipsburg. Several bars offered free wifi and she just sat on one of the public benches along the sidewalk and neglected me to work like she always does at home.
Although we didn’t elect to take it, I wanted to mention that there is a water taxi that can transport you from your cruise ship to Great Bay Beach in Philipsburg. It will be on your left as you exit the terminal area.
The cost is $7 for an all day pass or $5 one way.
However you choose to get to Great Bay Beach, I wish you clear skies, kindness, and puppy kisses.
Class Dismissed.
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