I retired from my job as a college professor five years ago and moved to Seattle to become a full-time cruiser, a Professor of Cruising if you will. But like so many, for the past year and change I’ve been stuck on dry land, after having three cruises cancelled, gazing longingly out my windows in downtown Seattle at our two vacant cruise piers.
But finally all that is about to change! Last week I booked my first post-pandemic cruise – the very first Carnival cruise scheduled to sail from Seattle this year on July 27th. I’ll be blogging about my experience starting now as I prepare for my cruise and receive updated information about my sailing from Carnival, during embarkation, onboard, at port, and all the way through debarkation. Follow along with me (using this link – I’ll be adding updates to this post) for a glimpse into how cruising to Alaska from Seattle will look in these first few months after Covid. And be sure to ask questions and share your own experiences in the comments!
Today I received this e-mail from Carnival:
This answered several questions I had:
It did not answer some questions I still have:
I’ve always advocated for and purchased travel insurance for my cruises (except for that time I booked a cruise at 3pm the day before it was scheduled to sail and figured I’d stand firm and literal with the theme: “throw caution to the wind!”). With all the uncertainty around Covid and this being Carnival’s very first sailing from Seattle at the tail end (let’s hope) of the pandemic, I made researching and purchasing travel insurance a priority.
While I typically don’t purchase insurance directly from the cruise line, I was curious to see what Carnival was offering considering the increased (at least perceived) risk of cruising right now. Here’s what they offered:
While the “cancel for any reason” provision was appealing to me, I noticed that I’d only get 75% of the cost of my trip back in the form of a future cruise certificate. And the price seemed a bit high for the coverage offered.
So I went to my go-to place for purchasing travel insurance, TravelInsurance.com.* This site is simple to use and allows you to compare plans and get exactly what you need for the best price. I entered some basic information about myself and my cruise (age, state, cost, dates) and selected the particular coverage I was looking for.
It was important to me for this cruise that I have “cancel for any reason” coverage, so I included that option this time (I usually don’t). After comparing the plans that popped up, I went with a “Pandemic Plus Plan” for $104. It offered much better coverage than the plan offered by Carnival, was less expensive, got good reviews, and while the “cancel for any reason” coverage was still only 75% of costs, it would be returned to me in cash instead of a future cruise certificate (not that I really mind another excuse to cruise).
Our cruise director has been announced: Jen Baxter
Jen is a red-haired British lass with a dry, raunchy sense of humor. She’s a blast – I’ve sailed with her before and she’s a great fit with Carnival’s culture, but is she right for Alaska?
I can kind of imagine her coming on the intercom to announce an “ocean fart at 3 o’clock!” (ocean fart = whale spout)
I’ve cruised to Alaska previously on Celebrity, Holland America, NCL, and Princess, but this is my first cruise to Alaska on Carnival. I’m really curious and excited to see how Carnival does Alaska, and particularly, how Jen does Alaska (VHS tape available to purchase onboard for those 21+).
Today I’m sending in my proof of ownership of Carnival shares for onboard credit.
Before you take my advice on anything (particularly related to finances), I should disclose that Mr. Cruise and I bought a bunch of Carnival and NCL stock RIGHT BEFORE Covid hit. So now I’m trying to claw back all our losses by booking as many cruises as possible and taking advantage of the onboard credit benefit for shareholders. I’ll only need to sail on 21 cruises to break even (#silverlining #goodproblem).
On Carnival, if you own at least 100 shares, you qualify for $50 of onboard credit for 1-6 day sailings; $100 for 7-13 day sailings; and $250 for sailings of 14 days or longer.
To request the credit, you must email, fax, or mail your name, booking number, ship, and sailing date, along with proof of ownership of Carnival Corporation or Carnival plc shares (photocopy of shareholder proxy card, a dividend tax voucher or a current brokerage or nominee). This must be completed no later than 3 weeks prior to your sail date (so you won’t be able to take advantage of this on last minute cruises).
If sailing on Carnival in the United States, mail, fax, or e-mail your materials here:
Guest Administration, 3655 N.W. 87th Avenue, Miami, FL 33178
Fax: 305-406-6102 (is faxing even still a thing?)
Email: shareholders@carnival.com
If you’re sailing on another Carnival owned line or are outside the United States, go here to find out where to send your request.
One little complication on my end, our Carnival shares are only under Mr. Cruise’s name and I’m sailing solo this time. I sent in a copy of my marriage license hoping that will do the trick. But if there are any cruise ship captains reading this, I hope that won’t deter you from steadying my wobbly legs at sail away, “need an arm, ma’am?” before sweeping me completely off my feet as you whisk me away to the ship chapel to exchange vows and embark on a life at sea together.
Based on the above paragraph, I feel the need to clarify two things. First, I am a modern woman with my own very non-lucrative career as a Professor of Cruising – Mr. Cruise just happened to be the one to buy our cruise shares, which is why my name isn’t on the account. And second, Mr. Cruise and I are in a traditional monogamous marriage (with one exception for cruise ship captains for me and Rashida Jones for him).
Anyway, I’ll keep you posted.
Two passengers aboard the Celebrity Millennium (one of my all-time favorite ships – go here to read my review) have tested positive for Covid, despite the ship being 100% vaccinated. They are both reported to be asymptomatic and in isolation. Considering vaccination efficacy is around 95%, a few breakthrough cases should be expected. And despite the 40 calls from my mom today, I’m not worried about my cruise aboard the Miracle. But don’t tell my mom that – I just told her I cancelled so I don’t have to change my number or forcefully remind her that while I appreciate her concern, I’m a grown-ass adult.
I am a bit concerned about my father-in-law, who is a transplant patient, and other immunocompromised cruisers at high-risk for covid and for whom the vaccine may not be as effective. He isn’t scheduled to cruise again until September, so I’m hoping community spread will be so low by then, the risk will be dramatically reduced.
Update (6/12/2021): Here‘s an interesting first-hand account of someone onboard the Millennium to was quarantined because she was on the same excursion with the two people who tested positive for Covid.
Today I triple verified that the Blue Iguana Cantina was, in fact, added during the Miracle’s drydock in February 2020 (and it’s just been sitting there collecting dust ever since!). A daily breakfast burrito and an arepa (or two) are absolutely essential to my Carnival cruise experience. True story:
During the $40 million overhaul, the Miracle also received all the other Fun Ship 2.0 upgrades: Guy’s Burger, WaterWorks, and the Red Frog Rum Bar.
And here’s one more burrito/arepa pic for those Carnival skeptics lurking on here all judgy like, “she booked Carnival for Alaska.” You may get free champagne on your fancy Celebrity ship, but we get the best Tex-Mex at sea!
The Miracle is currently located off the North American West Coast (coordinates 33.21189 N / -117.89216 W) cruising en route to ADRIFT (why do they have to make it sound so ominous?).
Go here if you want to obsessively track the ship with me (you can also use this site to track any cruise ship). Just go ahead and quit your job now, this is a much better use of your time until you board the Miracle for your cruise. Then you can spend the rest of your “retirement” as a stowaway (does anyone else have dreams about secretly staying on the ship after debarkation with, like, elaborate details about where you’d sleep and hide between sailings? Okay, just me. Got it.)
I wasn’t really considering a whale watching excursion in Alaska because I’ve done several already, but it’s back on my list after reading about a lobster diver in Provincetown, MA who hung out in the mouth of a humpback for nearly a minute before getting spit back out, alive enough to answer hard hitting questions on Reddit like, “who would you want to play you in a movie?” To which he answered, “Matt Damon.” Which prompted another user to fancy an attempt at a blockbuster title, “Not-So-Good Whale Hunting.” This is a true story – you can go straight to the source here.
Can you imagine showing up at the MDR for dinner and your table mates ask what you did in Juneau and you’re like, “oh, nothing much. Just got Jonah’ed by a humpback while my kids started arguing over their inheritance.”
I’m totally going for it. Who’s with me?
My latest communication directly from Carnival indicated that masks would be required in the cruise terminal. And I’m anticipating possible mask requirements at some port locations and on excursions, although I have no specific information about that yet. So today I’m shopping for a mask. But not just any mask (I live in a high rise in downtown Seattle where I’ve needed a mask to leave my apartment for well over a year. And I once lost my dog for 3 days when he got tangled and nearly buried alive in the giant pile of masks by our front door. All that is to say that I have a LOT of masks.), but the perfect mask.
I’m approaching this like a masquerade ball where I enter the cruise terminal three days prior to sailing, mysterious and captivating in my mask, prompting gossip among other passengers as they arrive, “who’s that crazy woman pounding on the embarkation door like she’s locked out of the bathroom and badly needs to pee?”
Then, once over the threshold, finally onboard, I’ll rip off my masks and toss it aside (only to run back to grab it because I only brought one) revealing my identity: “Oh, it’s that annoying B-list cruise blogger, Prof. Cruise.”
So yeah, I need the perfect mask.
My search got off to an unfortunate start when I entered “cruise mask” into the Amazon search bar and this popped up:
Wrong kind of cruise, wrong kind of mask, and just…wrong.
Take II, I try: cruising masks. I feared as soon as I clicked enter that something X-rated was going to pop up on my work computer and get me fired, “I swear I was just looking for something cute to wear as I go for a ride on a fun ship. Damnit, I mean…”
But thankfully I slowly and tentatively opened my eyes to peak at a selection of masks appropriate for a PG rated (well maybe PG-13, we do have Jen as our cruise director) vacation at sea. Here’s what I have to choose from:
I like this cruise ship mask, but note that it’s not a Carnival cruise ship and worry I might get beat up (this could take mask politics to a whole new level).
This one IS a Carnival cruise ship, but I don’t want Carnival loyalists to accidentally get the wrong idea about me before logging onto my cruise blog to discover I’ve been regularly cheating on Carnival since our relationship began over 30 years ago.
But here‘s one we can ALL agree on…
Or how about a simple classy, nautical theme?
You’re not classy? Me either. I mean this is Carnival. How about this one?
Okay, but if you scroll down a little further you get to the real gems. A cat/titanic theme? Yes, please!
But do I want people to think I’m a crazy cat lady (I am) or scare first-time cruisers?
I’m going to think on it. In the meantime, let me know which one you like best in the comments. Maybe I’ll let peer pressure make the decision for me (do NOT tell my 8 year-old I just said that!).
My original plan for Skagway was to find a nice hike that crossed the border into Canada, just in case I have to escape from Gilead someday (a Handmaid’s Tale reference for those of you who didn’t stay up until midnight last night waiting for the season finale to drop). But here’s the thing, while the Canadian border was welcoming to vigilante handmade refuges from Gilead, it’s not currently welcoming American tourists.
Canada doesn’t want our cruise ships until 2022 (which is why congress had to pass the Alaska Tourism Restoration Act, temporarily waving the requirement that foreign flagged cruise ships sailing from the United States visit a foreign port). And as of today, they don’t want us breathing on them either (I can’t really blame them, I had leftover Papa John’s bread sticks with garlic sauce for breakfast).
The Canadian border is currently closed until June 21 when we’ll find out if Canada will extend it for another month. A lifting of the ban will be welcome news for tourists and tour operators alike and will give everyone enough time to plan excursions that venture into Canada from Skagway. However, if they renew the ban for another month until July 21, we (and tour operators) will have to wait until just a week before our cruise for clarity and to firm up plans.
Anyway, yesterday I settled on a hiking excursion from Skagway and e-mailed the operator with a few questions. I wanted to share the exchange here, because it may offer a bit of color for others who are wondering about excursions (either ship sponsored or private) that normally venture into Canada.
Here’s my e-mail:
And here’s their reply:
So here are my two takeaways:
If I want to book this excursion, I’ll need to do so through the ship (even though that will cost me $60 more than this excursion normally does if booked privately) due to rules for contact tracing.
And second (and this one applies to everyone), even if your excursion currently describes a venture over the border into Canada (which several of them currently do), it may not happen. I’d recommend reaching out to potential tour operators directly if you can to ask about contingency plans.
I’ll keep you posted as I learn more.
*UPDATE (6/18/2021): The Canadian government announced today that the border will remain closed to nonessential travel until at least July 21*
Fun fact: Humpback whales eat up to 3,000 pounds per day. That’s also roughly equivalent to what I eat per day on a cruise.
So I usually try to drop a few pounds in advance of my sailing as a weak effort at mitigation. My normal strategy involves sucking on ice between giant meals and a half-assed attempt to seem enthusiastic, just in case Richard Simmons can see me through the TV (which obviously I know he can’t and he might actually be dead…is he dead?), as I sweat profusely even though I’m hardly moving to the oldies. I think I burned at least 100 calories typing that last, giant run-on sentence. Please hold while I grab a little snacky snack to refuel.
Anyway, none of that is going to work this time because I’m already lead-footing around an extra pandemic 20 and I recently moved into a new apartment with huge windows facing directly into a neighboring building. I feel like bungling simple 1980’s dance moves in my pandemic sweat pants isn’t the best way to introduce myself to my new neighbors, “oh, you’re that woman I saw doing jazz hands from your floor after getting knocked over by an unruly love handle.”
Instead, I’m thinking of calculating how many M&M’s I can eat for 1200 calories and then placing them across the room from the couch, allowing myself only 1 per trip over. Unless you have a better approach for losing a few pounds pre-cruise. Ideas, thoughts, suggestions?
Quick update on the first day of my diet: I logged exactly 1200 calories into myfitnesspal before I started gnawing on my own leg figuring I could both lose fat and gain sustenance. No pain, no gain…I mean loss.
In other news, Carnival just posted updated “Have Fun. Be Safe. COVID-19 GUEST PROTOCOLS.” Here they are:
This answered two of my lingering questions:
–Will Covid-19 testing be required before boarding for vaccinated guests? No (unless something is flagged in your medical screening).
–What will be accepted as proof of vaccination? CDC’s Vaccination Record Card
There’s been a lot of buzz on cruise boards since Tampa-based U.S. District Judge Steven Merryday ruled that, starting July 18, the CDC can’t enforce it’s current “return to cruising “ rules on cruise ships sailing from Florida and that the prior rules would merely be considered nonbinding recommendations or guidelines.
I read the ruling and it doesn’t appear to have any effect on cruises from Seattle to Alaska, so I’m going to sit this one out and hope that the elephants and donkeys battling for their respective positions on Facebook and Cruise Critic don’t die of a heart attack before they ever get the chance to die of Covid on a cruise ship.
Now, onto something really important: cruise ship cabin door decorations and a cautionary tale. I haven’t decorated my cabin door since my first cruise to Hawaii when I covered my door in these cute, Hawaii-themed, seemingly innocent pineapple magnets.
Well after opening my door to four different gentleman who gasped and said “never mind” upon seeing my face covered in room service chocolate cake and my kid jumping on the bed, I figured something was amiss and googled, “what does a pineapple on a cruise ship door mean?”
Remember that show, “Wife Swap” (it was Mr. Cruise’s favorite show for reasons I still can’t fathom)? Well it’s like that except instead of platonically exchanging wives with dramatically different lifestyles, you all share the same “lifestyle” which involves swapping partners for S-E-X. And I guess a pineapple on your door means you’re, I dunno, ripe and ready?
So the lesson here is that hanging pineapples on random cruise ship doors would make for an awesome prank.
An update today posted by John Heald (Carnival’s Brand Ambassador) to his Facebook page included the following blurb:
“GIFTS FOR THE CREW – TIPPING: So many of you have warmed the old cockles of my heart by posting and asking if you can bring gifts for the cabin stewards and waiters and the crew? The answer is of course Yes. I know many you like to do this and your kindness is simply amazing. Of course after so long away from the ships they are ready to make money again to support their loved ones back home. So I do hope that as always you will continue to look after them if they provide you with the brilliant and fun service I know you have missed so much.“
I don’t know about you, but throughout the pandemic I’ve thought regularly of specific crew members I’ve met and gotten to know over my years of cruising and wondered and worried about them and their families. While I love cruising more than my dog loves sidewalk chicken bones (it took me approximately 4 hours to forcefully pry one from this his jaws on our walk this morning), there are certain things about it that have always caused me a moment of pause – crew conditions topping the list. But I also know that for many crew members a cruise ship job is their best option, the only way they can earn enough to support their families.
In any case, since I’m booked on the very first Carnival cruise out of Seattle post-pandemic, I’m anticipating many hiccups as crew (either new to ship life altogether or returning after a long break) implement new protocols for the first time. And while I may experience some minor inconveniences as a result, I can imagine how stressful this first sailing will be for many of the crew. So along with my buffet pants and Poo-Pourri (#cruiseessentials), I’m packing an extra large dose of patience. AND, I’m bringing these cards, which I plan to pass out to crew members with a personalized message and an extra cash tip inside:
I also logged onto my Carnival page and pre-paid my gratuities, which came out to be $97.93 for one person for a 7-day cruise. While pre-paying usually won’t save you any money (unless the daily rate is going up and they allow you to pre-pay in advance at the former rate), I always do it to avoid sticker shock when I receive my final bill for onboard spending.
To pre-pay, log onto your Carnival account and click on “Booking and Order Details.”
Then scroll down until you see “Pre-Pay Your Gratuities Before You Sail.”
Viola! Once my cards arrive, I’ll stop by the ATM and pull out a few hundred dollars worth of $20’s for my extra tips. Gratuities (even extra gratuities) are a small price to pay for how hard crew work to give me a relaxing, fun vacation. I hope we all treat them with kindness, patience, and respect as they adjust to post-pandemic life onboard.
Sometimes in life we have to do things that suck, but are necessary for a big payout later. Like this, for example:
In order to do this:
And like this:
In order to do this:
That is, until your older cousin accidentally tells you there’s no such thing as Santa Claus and John Heald (Carnival’s Brand Ambassador) tells you there’s no more muster drill!
Today, live on Facebook, John announced that muster drill, as we’ve known and hated it, is no more. Instead, the following procedures will now be followed in order to brief guests on the safety protocols:
Step 1: Look on the Carnival Hub App or on your boarding pass for your muster station right after you board.
Step 2: Once onboard, within the first 1-2 hours, locate your muster station. Use the stairs if you can, as elevators may be shut down in a real emergency situation.
Step 3: Once you get to your muster station, check in with a crew member and they will let you know what you need to do to complete the safety protocol.
Step 4: Go to your stateroom and watch the safety briefing on the TV sometime before sail away.
Step 5: Retire your favorite cruise shirt which is now obsolete!
Step 6: Buy a new cruise shirt to celebrate!
John also made the following two announcements today:
-Guests who require oxygen or dialysis will not be permitted to sail for the rest of 2021.
-Crew members will be wearing face masks at all times, but will be wearing a large button with their smiling face on it.
John Heald announced today on facebook three new uses for Carnival’s Hub App.
1. To make a reservation for breakfast, brunch, and dinner (if you have “your time dining”). You simply request a time and a table size and the dining room will notify you via the app when your table is ready. No more lines (sorry line jumpers, you’ll have find a new way to piss people off)!
2. To contact guest services with dumb questions you’re too embarrassed to ask in person.
3. To order pizza, burritos, and burgers for pick-up (to avoid standing in line) and eventually (this will be phased in) for delivery of certain food anywhere on the ship! Hangover breakfast burrito in your cabin? Check! Guy’s Burger in the bar? Check! Pizza while watching TV on a stationary bike at the gym (why would they call it a stationary bike if I’m supposed to pedal?)? Check!
All of this is welcome news. Unless you’re a flip-phone. You may be economical and good for fidgeting, but can you deliver an arepa to me at the pool?
I burst into tears like I was thanking the academy or saying goodbye to my mom on her death bed when I looked out my windows and saw this today:
You may be wondering why this blurry cellphone photo caused me to also pee myself. Because it’s the first cruise ship to arrive in Seattle post-pandemic! It’s Royal Caribbean’s Ovation of the Seas docked at Terminal 91 to prepare for her Alaska season. And even though I’m not going to be on that one, I’ll be gazing out at her with renewed hope for a return to the thing I love most: cruising! It’s happening. It’s really happening!
Those of you bored enough to have been following along with my blog over the past few years know this about me: I love to eat. Now I know a lot of people say that, but how many of them have a pancake stack named after them? There’s a short stack of pancakes, a regular stack of pancakes, and a Prof. Cruise stack of pancakes. No seriously, order it at IHOP and watch a life-sized carby replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa (I almost spelled Pisa, “pizza”… Freudian slip) emerge from the swinging doors balanced on the hands of all 10 waiters, the host, management, the janitors, and some guy who was walking by with his dog: “tie up Fido for a minute, we need your help!”
So I was VERY excited to hear this morning that there will be no changes to the buffet on Carnival. It will continue to be self-serve and I will continue to receive dirty looks for taking up three extra tables with my lunch plates as people circle looking for an available spot: “Is anyone sitting here?” “Yes, my mashed potatoes.”
For months, I’ve been checking in with John Heald’s Facebook page and counting on him to keep my hopes high and my cruise friends informed with his regular updates as Carnival prepares to resume cruising. I’ve also been living a bit vicariously through him for the past few days as he prepares for his first post-pandemic cruise scheduled for July 4th on the Carnival Horizon. I’ve even started drinking tea and speaking in a British accent which has really confused my family.
But today, when John showed up at the airport to board his flight to Florida, he was denied boarding by American Homeland Security due to American Covid-related travel restrictions. We’re still learning the details of why he (and others) were refused entry to the United States, but for now I’m sending him support as he processes what’s happened and charts a path forward. We’re a family. A big, at times dysfunctional, family of humans who love ships. And the sea. And each other. And when one of us hurts, we all hurt. We love you John! We’ll get through this and sail with you again!
Those of you who read my prior post about the time I naively decorated my cabin door with a s**t ton of pineapples will understand why I was super relieved to learn that there will be no more fun times delivered to cabins. From now on, if you’re looking for an extra-marital rendezvous, you’ll need to sport one of these…
…and hook up in a public restroom, like a politician at the airport.
Wait, what? Oh, FUNTIMES, not fun times? As in:
Well in that case, how on earth am I going to know when the hairy chest contest is?
According to Carnival, while the daily newspaper/schedule will no longer be delivered to staterooms, it will be available on the Hub App and can also be picked up at Guest Services if you prefer a paper copy. The Lorax thanks you, Carnival (on behalf of the trees).
In other news:
-Cabin key cards will no longer be given out at check-in, you will pick them up on your cabin door after embarking with your boarding pass.
– While I can’t guarantee this for every ship, I have it on good authority that if you’re on the first post-pandemic sailing for your ship, your cabin will be ready at embarkation and you will be able to proceed directly to it. And please do if you’re on the Miracle – less competition as I seek to eat the first ever burrito at the new Blue Iguana Cantina on the Miracle.
-If you don’t complete the new Muster Drill procedure by the sail away, your ship card will be deactivated until you do (this should not be used by husbands as a way to curb the spending of their wives: “what muster drill, honey? I don’t think they do that anymore.”
Today I received the following e-mail from Carnival:
When I saw the bit about my reservation being subject to cancellation, I was like, “oh hell no, I did not wait 17 months to cruise for my reservation to be cancelled.” So I immediately dropped what I was doing (I owe my mother-in-law some new wedding china as hers currently sits in a million pieces under the table I was setting when this e-mail came in) and logged onto my Cruise Manager. I found the vaccination survey under “My To-Do List.”
Here’s what the vaccination survey looks like when you click on it:
And here are the choices you have under the drop-down menu:
As I selected “yes,” I wondered why state governors aren’t giving out free cruises as an incentive to get vaccinated. I got vaccinated so I could pay to go on a cruise, but if I could win a free one, I’d get vaccinated every day and twice on Saturday. Instead of the “Fauci Ouchie” they could call it the “Shippy Shot.”
I also thought about that weird conspiracy theory going around about tracking devices being implanted when you get vaccinated. Whoever’s tracking me is going to think I got murdered and dumped in the ocean: “She’s been floating around the Pacific for 89 consecutive days, let’s turn off her chip and consider her neutralized.”
Anyway, I completed my survey and am one step closer to sail away!
In other news, John Heald was cleared to fly and made it to his ship in time! Yay John! And I took my first post-pandemic flight to visit my in-laws in New York. I was booked on a red-eye that was delayed until 2am and I missed my connection in Chicago. Thankfully I made it to NY just in time to celebrate the USA by almost burning a hole through foot after falling asleep with a lit sparkler in my hand.
Today I remember the most important day of my life. It’s the 10-year anniversary of my very first cruise (as an adult – I did go on one cruise with my family as a wee one). It was also the first day of my honeymoon, but as Mr. Cruise has learned all too well over the last 10 years, he’ll always come second to cruising (#sorrynotsorry). I mean if he can cruise with me, great. But if not? Buh bye! (His fault for having a real job.) Here we are on that first cruise though.
Weren’t we cute and young and…skinny? If I haven’t mentioned my pre-cruise diet in a while, it’s because I’ve given up on it. I’m just hoping everyone else will show up to formal night in their pandemic sweatpants too. I’m all in favor of ditching masks onboard, but I think some parts of pandemic life will serve us well far into the future. (As you may have heard, we do a lot of protesting here in Seattle. I’m thinking of making a sign and chanting down Pike Street, “Ho Ho Hey Hey, ELASTIC WAIST is here to stay!)
Anyway, tomorrow is a big day as I prepare for my cruise. It’s online check-in day! I plan on staying up until 9:00:01pm (yes, I’m normally asleep by then), because that will be the moment it becomes July 13 on the east coast.
Be sure to check back in tomorrow – I’ll be posting all the details on the online check-in process.
I’m a frequent Southwest Airlines flyer, so I’m conditioned to check-in for my flight EXACTLY 24 hours prior to the departure time in order to secure the best possible boarding position without having to pay extra (#cheap). So I decided to take a similar approach to checking in for my cruise. I don’t ever purchase Faster To The Fun (again, #cheap), but I want to get on the ship AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, so I always select the earliest arrival time available and, regardless of what time I get, I show up at the pier at 10am batting my eyelashes and hoping they’ll let me in. It usually works.
But this time, prior communication from Carnival suggested that with Covid protocols they may be more strict with turning people away who arrive before their assigned time. So I wanted to be DOUBLE SURE I got the earliest possible arrival time. So I logged into my account at EXACTLY 12am Eastern time (which, lucky for me, was 9pm in Seattle) and completed my online check-in, snagging the earliest arrival time of 10:30am. Success!
Here are screenshots of the entire check-in process. Most of this will look familiar to past Carnival cruisers, but there are a few areas that are new due to Covid.
One time in high school I strongly suspected that one of my teachers wasn’t reading our homework and was instead slapping a sticker (AWESOME JOB!) at the top and giving full credit to every student. So I decided to test my theory. I started off slow by slipping in an occasional “are you reading this” into an otherwise satisfactory effort. Yeap, another sticker and full credit with no additional comments. So I kept pushing it until I eventually turned in a profanity-laced essay on why it was well past time for this particular teacher to retire. And guess what? An affirming sticker (YOU NAILED IT!) and full credit! Which brings me to my first of two questions: Is anyone still reading this? Please drop a quick note in the comments if you are. Otherwise, I might start getting really spicy.
Anyway, Jen Baxter (our cruise director), posted some information about our Entertainment Team and Fun Squad, so I thought I’d pass it along:
But this brings me to a confession and my second question. Confession: I’m not that fun. And more than that, I’m kind of a nerd. My favorite part of cruising to Alaska (which I’ve done many times on every cruise line except Carnival – this will be my first Carnival cruise to Alaska) is creapily following around the ship’s naturalist so I don’t miss a single sea lion that turns out to be a rock while repeatedly telling them: “I wish I had your job!” Seriously though, I’ve loved listening to lectures, looking from the promenade deck for wildlife, and chatting with the naturalist onboard my prior Alaska cruises. So…does anyone know if there will be a naturalist onboard the Miracle?
Now, onto something MUCH more important. FOOD!!!!!
Ya’ll know by now how much I love to eat. I also like to stalk cruise menus prior to sailing to get excited and to have in my mind in advance what I might like to order so I don’t become paralyzed with all the choices and accidentally order, “one of each, except for the desserts. I’ll have two of each of those.” If anyone else would like to get an idea of the menus, I’ve posted the updated 2021 Carnival dinner menus here. I can’t guarantee that these will be the exact menus (or that they will be in this exact order) for our sailing, but they’ll give you a pretty darn good idea of what they will look like. Now excuse me while I hit the fridge. I’m hungry!
Guess what?
Single digits until I FINALLY cruise again!
My neighbors just knocked on my door to ask if I’d won the 1 million dollar grand prize in the State of Washington vaccine lottery (following my loud and prolonged screams of joy). And I was like, “no, better!”
Is anyone else in the single digits?
This is going to be the longest week since I labored and birthed my son (which was actually only 8 or so hours, but it felt like a week). Why? Because there’s one week until my cruise! And not just any cruise, my first cruise since February…2000 (gasp!). The closer it gets to embarkation day, t h e s l o w e r t i m e g o e s. So I’m trying to keep busy by writing a s**t ton of mediocre blog posts (consider that both a warning and an apology) and packing.
Now unlike some who like to carefully plan their outfits weeks, sometimes months in advance (I’m looking directly into the virtual eye of my MIL right now who showed me her “cruise closet” when I visited recently), I have no interest or taste in fashion and have cruised to Alaska so many times that I just bring the same pile of things that have worked for me in the past (you can see what I always pack for Alaska here).
What I do care about is reading material. Reading in a quiet spot with a view of the ocean is one of the things I love most about cruising (told ya…nerd). And I always try to select books that either take place on a cruise ship or feature one of the ports I’ll be visiting.
On my last two cruises I read The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware (which takes place on a cruise ship) and The Great Alone by Kirstin Hannah (which takes place in Alaska). While I enjoyed them both, (spoiler alert) they were intense and people died.
This time, since I’m cruising solo and we’re just emerging (hopefully!) from a global pandemic that’s killed millions, I’m looking for something a little…lighter? Less terrifying? Less depressing?
All of those. But still cruise related. So I’ve settled on “The Jetsetters” by Amanda Eyre Ward. Here’s the basic premise: The matriarch of a dysfunctional family wins a free cruise to the Mediterranean and invites her adult children to join her.
This particular book speaks to me because one of the cruises I had cancelled during the pandemic was a Mediterranean cruise scheduled with my mother and brother. Plus I figure reading about a dysfunctional family will remind me not to miss Mr. Cruise and my son too much (I’ll still miss my dog though).
While this book is already a Reece’s Book Club selection, I suspect it will become wildly more popular (or more likely sales will suddenly tank) when it’s announced as the first Prof. Cruise Book Club selection. Feel free to get the book and join the club. I don’t care if you actually read it, I only ask that you not use it to hog a prime pool lounger. My reputation’s bad enough.
In other news, I received the following e-mail from Carnival this morning:
Is it just me or do you hold your breath and grip the table every time you get an e-mail from Carnival? I’ve had so many cruises cancelled over the past 17 months I keep expecting to see “we’re so sorry to inform you…”. And when I get multiple e-mails from them in one day? I put a call into my therapist and scrap the gym because while the rest of me is all Covid Curvy, my ass is steel from all the clenching.
Here’s the second e-mail I received from Carnival today regarding my sailing on the 27th:
Back before I discovered that cruises are a perfectly wonderful substitute for human relationships (pro tip!), I briefly dated someone I’d crushed on for ages before he swiftly dumped me. I was at that age where I grasped onto any hope of reconciliation instead of blasting Lizzo, drinking a few martinis while reading feminist memes on Instagram, and then moving the eff on. Instead, I decided to internet “stalk” this guy to see if I could find an “in.” Turns out all his social media accounts were public and he broadcast basically every aspect of his life. And I learned that EVERY DAY he ate eggs and bacon for breakfast, egg salad for lunch, and meatloaf and potatoes for dinner. I thought to myself, “this is way too easy” and “what did I ever see in this guy? He’s so boring!”
So what does this have to do with the Miracle? Well I’ve been stalking her exact location on CruiseMapper for MONTHS and every time I check she’s in basically the same spot off the coast of California en route to Long Beach (she never actually arrives there) or “adrift.” Boring. It’s like she eats egg salad every day for lunch (egg salad isn’t even that good!). But she’s a cruise ship and not a man, so I kept at it. And guess what? Today she’s on the move and she’s headed my way with an ETA in Seattle of July 25th at 1:00pm. And my hopes of a reconciliation with cruising are alive and well!
I also received ANOTHER e-mail from Carnival this morning. I wonder if Carnival feels the same anxiety sending these e-mails out that I do receiving them: please don’t cancel, please don’t cancel, please don’t cancel.
No fear, I could receive an e-mail from Carnival telling me, “we regret to inform you that the itinerary for your sailing has changed and we’ll now be docking at Chernobyl for the week,” and I still wouldn’t cancel. In any case, nothing about this latest e-mail was a surprise to me, but it confirmed a few things I’d heard elsewhere.
In official Carnival news, the servicing of staterooms will be limited to once a day for now (for health and safety reasons), either in the morning or evening depending on guest preference. But I’d like to spend the majority of this update talking about a few of my own housekeeping items before I forget.
For those of you who have been so faithfully following along as I prepare for my cruise, reading through my seemingly endless drivel hoping eventually you’ll get to the “good part,” I have some bad news. Your hopes will be dashed on July 27th when this post will be permanently retired and will live out it’s days in obscurity with all the other things I’ve written – everything else on this blog, my dissertation, and my marriage vows (the hotel maid accidentally threw them away, so I had to wing it).
While you’ll never get back those hours you wasted on me, I have good news! I’ll be providing new links as I live blog the embarkation process, my onboard experience, and debarkation. I’ll post the first new link to this page on the 27th as well as to my Facebook page.
And if you want to waste even MORE time, I encourage you to follow @profcruise on Instagram where I’ll be spamming you with a million photos of the ship, ports, food, EVERYTHING! (Why did I just lose 90% of my Instagram followers?)
Speaking of housekeeping items, I’m leaving Mr. Cruise, my 8 year-old son, and my geriatric dog alone for 7 days and fear a notice from the health department on my apartment door upon my return. Despite my teasing, I love Mr. Cruise dearly and he works very hard to keep our family fed and loved and (most importantly) cruised. But seriously, I’m considering either hiring a cleaning service for the day before I return home or offering up our apartment to a local science class studying the fruiting structures of molds.
When I saw this photo of the entire Miracle crew on the Lido deck with signs that read, “CARNIVAL MIRACLE ALASKA 2021” and “WE ARE BACK” I got so excited I threw an impromptu party out on my apartment balcony complete with a Drink of the Day (unfortunately we only had a Capri Sun Citrus Rush and Crème de menthe in the fridge, which tasted like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth) and entertainment (I had Mr. Cruise disrobed from the waist up and our dog compete in a hairy chest contest…Mr. Cruise won).
But when I paused the music to check the Miracle’s location on CruiseMapper, I spit out my drink because it was DISGUSTING, but also because I saw this:
The Carnival Miracle heading out into the Pacific in the opposite direction of Seattle! Like the Captain drank too much at the deck party and accidentally reset the course toward Hawaii. Excuse me while I pour myself another Colgate Capri and warn all of downtown Seattle to stay away from ships with fancy (whale) tails – they’re nothing but a tease!
Good news! The Captain has sobered up on some Lido “coffee” and has corrected course. The Miracle is once again headed for Seattle! The party’s back on (but don’t tell the Captain).
Also, I just received this e-mail from Carnival:
I logged onto my Cruise Manager right away to complete my assessment.
I feel like I’ve answered these same exact questions roughly 10 million times over the past 15 months. If I were Carnival I’d throw in a question like, “have you picked your nose in the car in the past 14 days?” and if someone answers “no” I’d flag them for a Covid test because they’re probably lying about the rest too.
The Miracle arrived in Seattle early this morning ahead of schedule and is currently docked at Pier 91. Of course I had to head right over there to attempt to climb the fence to sneak on her. You’ll recognize me at embarkation as the woman with the gruesome barbed wire cuts disguised under a bunch of my 8 year-olds Pokemon temporary tattoos with a mask that reads: “fresh out of jail and ready to cruise!” Before the police snatched me, I managed to snap a few photos:
With 0 days and 18 hours until I cruise, I’m going to retire this link and finish my preparations (do check back tomorrow morning though as I’ll post a new link dedicated to the embarkation process). But before I do that I want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who made my first post-Covid cruise possible. To those who helped develop, test, manufacture, distribute, and administer the vaccines that made cruising again a reality (especially the two kind volunteer nurses who administered my vaccines at the largest civilian led vaccine clinic in the country) – thank you! To all the employees at Carnival and the crew of the Miracle who were tasked with doing what once seemed impossible – thank you! To my husband, Mr. Cruise, for embracing my love of cruising and holding down the fort while I’m away – thank you! And finally, and most especially, to all of you reading this – thank you! For coming along with me on this journey. For tolerating my weird sense of humor. For making me laugh. For teaching me so much. And for renewing my hope in the power of a shared love. That the sea and the sunset and especially Carnival Chocolate Melting Cake can bring people together. And with this quote to close things out…
I can finally declare…
Class Dismissed.
*Go HERE for my next live installment which will cover embarkation, muster drill, and sail away.
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