Prof. Cruise’s Book Club Selection: Walter the Farting Dog Goes on a Cruise

Big News!  Four-ish years after starting my cruise media empire, I’ve reached the same number of followers as Oprah’s assistant’s dog walker’s elderly mother. So I’ve decided to lend my name to a book club.

ANNOUNCING PROF. CRUISE’S BOOK CLUB!

And today I’m excited to reveal my first selection: Walter the Farting Dog Goes on a Cruise!

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

I chose this engrossing work of fiction for the following reasons.  First, it features three of my favorite things: cruises, dogs, and cheese.  Second, it only takes 10 minutes to read, making it the only book I’ve read cover-to-cover on a cruise between falling asleep in my lounger and going for “one more” dessert.  And finally, because it destigmatizes farting on cruises, which, I’m no longer ashamed to admit, I do a lot of. 

I’m confident that from now on when my fellow passengers get into an elevator with me following a buffet lunch, in addition to plugging their noses and desperately pushing the button for the next closest deck, they’ll also think, “Oh thank goodness, we may need her to propel us home in the event of engine trouble.”

How to Participate

There are two possible ways to participate:

Live

I’ll be holding live Prof. Cruise Book Club groups on the following sailings (these are the ships I’m currently booked on if you’d rather avoid me):

Norwegian Sun, September 1, 2022

Holland America Noordam, December 17, 2022

Discovery Princess, February 20, 2023

Holland America Westerdam, June 18, 2023

(Stay tuned, more ships to come!)

Virtually

But you’re also welcome to participate virtually!  Simply read the book on a cruise of your choice (if you’re not currently booked on one, you can use this as an excuse: “But honey, my book club is requiring it.”) and answer all or some of the following discussion questions in the comments (these contain spoilers, so be sure to read the book first):

1- Walter is so happy to be joining his family on his first cruise that he farts on the gangway.  Do you have any embarkation day rituals?

2- Should pets be allowed on cruise ships?  (Careful, Henry, my “Walter,” is reading over my shoulder right now and you wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.)

3- Which character in the book resonated most with you and why?  (Sorry to stereotype, but 10 to 1 that most men will pick “Walter” and most women will pick “Pet Officer Smedley.”)

4- Are you an overpacker like Father?  (I mean is it really necessary to pack a Gatsby hat, a sweater vest, and a pair of checker knickers to play cruise ship miniature golf?)

5- If you were trapped in a room with the ship’s supply of cheese, which would you eat first: stinky, stinkier, or stinkiest?  Or are you more of a mild cheddar fan like me?

6- If the cruise ship you were sailing on experienced engine trouble, would you even want to be rescued?  (I think that’s important to establish.)

7- At the end of the book, the cruise ship is re-named from “Sea Wind” to “Walter’s Wind.”  If a cruise ship were to be named in your honor, what would it be called?

Final Thoughts

I’m excited to be embarking on this literary journey with you and look forward to engaging discussions.  If you’d like to recommend a cruise-related book for consideration, please do so in the comments. And finally, while your own farting dog won’t be allowed to sail with you (unless you’re crossing the Atlantic on the Queen Mary 2), you can take Walter the Farting Dog along, at least the plush toy version (farts when squeezed, batteries included):

And with that…

Happy reading (and cruising and eating and farting)!  

Class Dismissed.

Homework (10 points): Have you participated in a book club before? What tips would you offer someone starting a new book club? Please share your answer to the comments.

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