Breaking News: Prof. Cruise Gets Kicked Off Noordam Hours After Embarking
Prof. Cruise Gets Kicked Off Noordam Hours After Embarking!
Before you accuse this headline of being clickbait and finally deem my credibility irreparably damaged, let me assure you that it would pass a polygraph test (even if any reputable fact checker would label it as “needs context”). So, that being said, I know what you’re probably thinking: “She never could hold her liquor.” Or, “Holland America finally wised up and banned her for life after she was flagged in a financial audit as eating 10 times her cruise fare in dessert every sailing.” Or, “I bet she jumped up on stage during the Captains welcome to propose.”
All valid speculations. But no. I was invited to a press event to celebrate Holland America’s 150 Anniversary onboard the Noordam during her only visit to Seattle this season.
I was treated to a lovely evening of cocktails, dinner, and entertainment on the same ship I called home for 16 nights just a few months ago (we sailed on the Noordam for a bucket list cruise to New Zealand over Christmas and New Years). But unlike my previous stint onboard, this time I got kicked off before I could even order my third dinner from room service because I was still too full from my second dinner to trek up to the buffet.
I begrudgingly handed over my visitor badge after offering up all the cash in my wallet plus my wedding ring if they would just let me stay for the remainder of the sailing. And when that didn’t work I threw in my only other possessions worth more than 20 or so dollars, a Bolt EV and refurbished Vitamix. And when that didn’t work, I hesitated briefly, but proceeded to include my kid and dog: “no seriously, I live five minutes away, I’ll just run and grab them real quick.”
Alas, they thanked me for coming (while making a note to never invite me to anything again) and escorted me down the gangway. On my walk home I made a therapy appointment (call me dramatic, but only getting to spend half a day on a cruise ship was extremely traumatic) and pulled up the itinerary for my next Holland America cruise (scheduled for June on the Westerdam to Alaska) to distract myself.
Anyway, here’s some additional description and photos from the evening’s events:
Beer and Gin Tasting in the Pinnacle Bar
Our evening started with a beer and gin tasting featuring HAL Pils and De Lijn Gin, introduced earlier this year to celebrate Holland America’s 150th anniversary. HAL Pils was created in collaboration with Pike Brewing (local to Seattle) and features Mosaic Hops from the Yakima Valley in Washington state. De Lijn Gin, called ‘Nieuw’ Western Gin, is the line’s take on the fast growing New Western Dry Gin category. It’s made with a blend of Dutch inspired botanicals, including orange, rose, elderberry, lemon verbena, lemon, raspberry and juniper and is featured in three new 150th anniversary cocktails:
- Dutch 150” A twist on a French 75 with De Lijn Gin, lemon juice and sparkling wine.
- “150th Martini” Classic Martini with De Lijn Gin and Noilly Pratt Dry Vermouth.
- “De Lijn Gin and Tonic” is an exclusive drink prepared tableside in the Pinnacle Grill specialty restaurant. In addition to De Lijn Gin and Fever Tree Premium Indian Tonic, the cocktail blends an assortment of seasonal botanicals such as juniper berries, peppercorns, verbena, star anise, mint and expressed citrus.
We were treated to the “De Lijn Gin and Tonic” which involved selecting from a vast array of possible blend-ins. I panicked and asked for them all, because if a cocktail doesn’t involve chocolate or three gallons of sugary syrup, I don’t have the slightest interest in it. The bartender kindly suggested a more palatable blend and his creation was both beautiful and not totally awful (consider that a ringing endorsement for a drink I normally hate).
150th Anniversary Reception with Honored Guests
Next up was a reception in the Rolling Stone Lounge with appetizers, cocktails and invited guests, including the owners of Pike Brewery and the designer of the line’s special 150th Anniversary poster.
Dinner in the MDR
We were escorted to a reserved section of the MDR for dinner where I was seated at a table with several powerhouse local Instagram stars and their, equally impressive, plus-one’s and wondered for the 5 millionth time that evening why the heck I’d been invited to this thing.
We were able to order anything we wanted (including cocktails and food items from the specialty restaurants) from the evening’s menu:
Almost everyone at my table ordered either the 12 oz lobster tails or the 15 oz boneless ribeye, so my vegetarian items looked a little small and sad by comparison, but they were delicious nonetheless:
Free Time to Explore the Ship
After dinner, we were given three hours on our own to explore the ship and sample the entertainment offerings. I used my time to hit the buffet for a second dinner and a made-to-order crepe, visit my favorite bar onboard (the Ocean Bar) for a chocolate martini, and listen to some music in the Rolling Stone Lounge.
Questions?
While I can’t speak to the main question we all have, “why on earth were you invited to such an exclusive event?,” I’m happy to answer any questions you may have about Holland America, the Noordam, or how these press events work (this was my first one and I’ve always been curious about them). You can also read my full review of the Noordam from January HERE. And see my tour and review of a Signature Suite HERE.
And with that…
Class Dismissed!
Homework (10 points): Post to the comments any questions you have about Holland America, ms Noordam, or this press event.
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