Ports of Call Lecture Series: What to do in Hilo, Hawaii

I’m launching a new lecture series today called, “Ports of Call.”  And trust me, you’re going to want to really pay attention to this one, instead of glancing up every few minutes from Candy Crush (is that still a thing?) to make eye contact with me so I think you’re paying attention. 

I’m starting in Hawaii because that was my latest cruise and the place I go to in my mind while walking my dog under the prodigious shower head that winters over Seattle and is stuck on a cold drizzle.  And in Hilo because that’s where the land portion of our 15-day round trip voyage from San Francisco on the Grand Princess kicked off in dramatic fashion. 

High Drama on the High Seas

Let me explain.  We’d reserved a rental car months in advance for Hilo, on the big island, for a full day of touristing, three generations of us in matching navy blue Hawaiian shirts.  When we got in line to board the shuttle bus to pick up our Jeep wrangler, we overheard some passengers in front of us being told that, “we don’t have any cars.”  I assumed they didn’t have a reservation and didn’t worry the soon to be sunburned part down the center of my flaky peeling head over it until the couple directly in front of us were also told that, in spite of having a pre-paid reservation, “we don’t have any cars.” 

What do you mean you don’t have any cars?  It was like this McDonalds franchise in Pittsburgh that, no matter when my husband Eric would pull up to order a Big Mac, the wizard behind the microphone who turned out to be a middle-aged bald guy would inform him that, “we’re out of meat,” as he escaped in a hot air balloon before the cops got there to bust him for dealing cocaine, code word: warm apple pie (that last part is conjecture) from the drive through. 

Anyway, the irate husband of the pre-paid carless couple – with a walking stick I feared he might use as a weapon – was screaming about how he was going to teach Budget a lesson by spending his whole day on a tropical island with a current temperature of 75 degrees with a light breeze, inside a lawyer’s office suing this sham of a rental car company right out of existence instead of at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park with overflowing toilets due to an ongoing government shutdown. 

So I think the lesson here is that jumping into a taxi and carrying on with your day as planned and submitting your receipts to Budget for reimbursement as instructed by the underpaid employee who may have arrived late to work that day to land this most dreadful of assignments, but probably wasn’t directly responsible for the missing cars, might be a better use of your time. 

That’s exactly what we did!  And, spoiler alert, we had a marvelous day with our cab driver Constantine, a native Hawaiian who was a most gracious host, offering up interesting little nuggets of information and his photography skills at each of our stops.

Silver Lining: A Comparison of Two Transportation Options

And as another silver lining, now I can offer you a comparison of two different transportation options: rental car vs. private taxi.

Rental car pros:

1. Less expensive.  We reserved our car with Budget through www.discounthawaiicarrental.com and would have paid $129 for a full day.  All in, the private taxi cost us approximately $340 for half a day.
2. Less rushed.  With the private taxi, we were charged by the hour so we felt somewhat rushed.  The driver also accompanied us to each site, so we didn’t linger too long as it would have been a little awkward.  “Constantine, just stand there while I identify and smell every single flower at the botanical garden.” 
3. More relaxed.  By more relaxed I mean you can fart in the car and eat hardboiled eggs you snuck off the boat from the buffet (don’t do that though – it’s illegal) because your family members already know how gross you are and choose to travel with you anyway.  Poor Constantine didn’t sign up for that.

Private taxi pros:

1. Convenience.  There will be a line of taxis waiting just outside the gangway.  Just agree on a price ($80 per hour seemed to be the norm) and itinerary with the driver and GO!  There was also a shuttle in the same area to drive you to the rental car office (which we never got on), but it definitely would have taken longer to get on the road had we had to drive to the office, wait in line, pick up the car, push the seat up to within half an inch of the steering wheel and adjust the mirror so I could see what my kid was trying to hit me with from the back seat, etc.
2. Tips and commentary from a local. We learned so much from Constantine at each of our stops and were able to ask him questions about what life is like in Hilo for a local.  He was like a chauffeur and tour guide and guy in the grocery store checkout line that tells you TMI when you small talk him – “how’s it going?” “yesterday I had a boil drained and let me tell you all about it in excruciating detail” – all in one!

The Lush Side of Hilo

Volcanoes or tropical stuff, that’s the decision we faced since we were traveling with a 5 year-old with about an equal number of hours in him before he loses his crap and starts karate chopping innocent trees.  I grew up in the desert (Utah), so there’s a reason my favorite color is green.  Tropical, it was!  Here’s a breakdown of our itinerary in chronological order:

Akaka Falls State Park

An easy drive about 10 miles outside of Hilo.  A paved loop hike just short of a half-mile winds you through a rainforest teaming with lush bamboo groves, gigantic ferns, tropical flowers, dramatic overlooks, and two spectacular waterfalls: Kahuna Falls (100 feet) and Akaka Falls (440 feet). 

Admission: There is a $5 parking fee and a nominal admission fee of $1 per person. 

Time: One hour or less.

Difficulty level: Moderate – the trail is paved, but there are steep areas and lots of stairs.  My 5 year-old and 70 year-old moderately fit mother did fine.

Extra Credit: We got there before 9am and had the whole place to ourselves!  So beautiful and peaceful!  Highly recommend.

Hawaii Tropical Botanical Garden

www.htbg.com

A beautiful, scenic drive about 8 miles North from the cruise port in Hilo.  This nature preserve boasts an impressive 2000+ species of tropical plants including an orchid garden.  You’ll also enjoy two waterfalls and spectacular ocean vistas that will cause your husband to startle when you shout: “now this is Hawaii!”  Kids will love the Founder’s Birdhouse

Admission:   $20 for adults

$5 for children 6-16

free for children under 6    

Time: 1-3 hours

Difficulty level: Moderate – the trails are paved, but there are steep areas. My 5 year-old and 70 year-old moderately fit mother did fine.

Extra Credit: Look for the Batman flower if you have kids!

Rainbow Falls Lookout

This was a quick photo op stop for us.  The parking lot and overlook were both very crowded.  There was a short, steep and somewhat treacherous path to the left of the main overlook where you could climb up to see the falls from the top.  It was a pretty waterfall and the main overlook area is accessible for those with mobility challenges – it’s about 10 paved feet from the parking lot.  However, if you’re short on time, I’d probably skip this one.

Admission: Free

Time: 30 minutes

Difficulty level: Easy with an optional moderate climb to the top of the falls

Extra Credit: Budget a few extra minutes in case you have to wait for a parking spot to open up.

Richardson Beach Park

Richardson Beach is a black and green sand beach very close by vehicle to the cruise port in Hilo.  We came here looking for Tay, a baby sea turtle my son released in Mexico earlier in the year.  Here’s Tay:

No sign of Tay or any of his friends (sea turtles are known to frequent this area), but we enjoyed the calm water, tide pools, and shade – I burn just thinking about the sun. 

Admission: Free

Time: 1-3 hours

Difficulty level: Easy (but see below)

Extra Credit: Wear water shoes, your piggies will thank me!

While our day in Hilo didn’t go exactly as planned (with me behind the wheel terrorizing local pedestrians and drivers alike), our flexibility resulted in a fantastic day!  And Budget did eventually issue a refund to my credit card for the difference between the cost of the rental car and the private taxi.  Thanks for making it right, Budget! 

Check out the lush side of Hilo by rental car or taxi, you’ll love it! 

Class dismissed.

Check out my other Hawaii port posts here. And don’t forget to subscribe to the blog (scroll up to the top right if on a computer or keep scrolling down if on a mobile device) and follow me on social media:

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