I’ve been binging a lot of true crime shows on Hulu lately as I prepare for my family’s next cruise, a 16 day sailing on the Norwegian Spirit that ventures to both Hawaii AND Alaska. While I’ve cruised to both places separately many times, I’ve never done them together in a single sailing and have found packing for both a long cruise with a child and a cruise that requires clothing and gear for all possible weather conditions challenging. This coupled with a need to prepare my apartment for our dog sitter (this dude I supposedly went to high school with, but honestly don’t remember at all – awkward), means that I’ve spent hours on end staring at the television vacillating between total paralysis and imagining myself in the position of the accused: “I never would have thrown out the shoes I wore to commit the murder in the garbage can of my own garage!”
I think this relates directly to a weird dream I had the other night where I found myself in a court of law defending myself against a charge that I didn’t love cruising more than anyone else on earth. What a horrible and untrue accusation! I have to admit though that Deputy Steve Deffibaugh (as played by the Justin Timberlake in the series, “Candy”) made some compelling points in his testimony against me, including one directly relevant to today’s post: he argued that I hate cruise ship excursions and pointed to past statements I’ve made on the record to that effect.
But I’m here today to offer a direct rebuttal, because I LOVED the last cruise ship excursion I went on in Puerto Vallarta, on a 7-night Mexican Riviera sailing onboard the Majestic Princess: the Mahajuitas Cove, Yelapa, and Lunch excursion.
While this excursion is available on other cruise lines with port stops in Puerto Vallarta (I spoke to several people who had taken it on my last Carnival cruise onboard the Panorama and know it’s also offered by NCL as there were passengers on the Bliss along with us), here’s how it was advertised on Princess:
Two important things to note here. First, the cost. At $94.94 for a 7 hour excursion that included lunch and an open bar, I found it an incredible value for a cruise ship excursion (which are nearly always overpriced, in my opinion).
And second, it’s listed as a “strenuous activity.” Whenever I see that, I always add the following caveat in my head: “for a cruise ship excursion.” And I assume I’m not going to burn off the half crumb I left on the plate of my fourth dessert not because I couldn’t have eaten it, but because it was too small to see. But this turned out to be the most physically strenuous and adventurous cruise ship excursion I’ve ever taken. While I considered that a good thing, I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone who is not a strong ocean swimmer, is not comfortable transferring from one vessel to another during large swells and walking for long distances on uneven surfaces, or not in good physical health. I also don’t recommend it for stodgy types, because it required a sense of both adventure and humor to really appreciated.
While your experience on this excursion, and any excursion, will vary depending on a number of factors (weather, crew, other passengers, etc), this was my experience on the Mahajuitas Cove, Yelapa, and Lunch excursion:
I pre-purchased my excursion prior to boarding, so my ticket was in my cabin upon my arrival. The ticket below says “DUPLICATE” because the time of the excursion was modified slightly due to the Norwegian Bliss docking a bit later than expected (and passengers from the Bliss would be joining us on the excursion).
I followed the instructions on the ticket to meet beside the ship at 9:15am and quickly identified a Princess crew member holding up a sign indicating where we were supposed to congregate. After a short wait, we were instructed to follow the crew member. However, we weren’t given any information about where we were walking. It turns out we had to walk around to the neighboring dock where the Bliss was located and where our vessel was waiting for us. There was quite a bit of grumbling from a few fellow passengers on the walk over and I later wondered how they’d fared on the excursion overall, considering how strenuous (and almost harrowing) it was at times.
But we made it to our motorized catamaran and were handed life vests as we boarded. Here’s what the catamaran looked like:
I elected to sit upstairs on a perimeter bench where, while the seating wasn’t as comfortable, the view was better than what’d I’d have gotten from one of the chairs (I did move to the chairs for the return trip).
As we set off, crew members introduced themselves and spoke a bit about safety and our itinerary for the day. They spoke in both English and Spanish and while their English was quite good overall, they spoke fast at times and I missed a lot of what was said. There were also a few things that were “lost in translation,” one of which I’ll mention later so you don’t make the same mistake many others made.
As we made our way to our first destination, Mahajuitas Cove, we sailed by beautiful views of Puerto Vallarta and the surrounding mountains. We also saw a number of dolphins and humpback whales.
On our approach to Mahajuitas Cove, the crew mentioned that there were two options: we could either snorkel in the cove or proceed directly to the beach. Those snorkeling were told to put on their life vests and snorkel gear and head to the back of the boat. This all felt a little rushed and confusing and I honestly didn’t know what I was in for. But hey, I’d been trash talking cruise ship excursions as “wimpy” for years, so I figured I deserved whatever was coming.
Once positioned, we were instructed to “JUMP!” off the back of the boat into a deep water cove. A few people backed out at this point, but most went for it, including me.
Extra Credit Pro Tip: Before passing out free snorkels and masks, crew will try to sell you a $10 set you can keep. Due to a bit of a language barrier, I thought paying the $10 was mandatory if one wanted to snorkel and almost pulled a Karen thinking I wouldn’t be able to snorkel (since I only brought enough cash for a tip). And many people ended up buying the snorkel gear thinking the same thing. You DO NOT need to purchase snorkel gear unless you want to take it home. You can borrow the snorkels and masks shown below for free:
Once I adjusted to the water temperature and found my bearings, I relished in swimming with gorgeous tropical fish and other sea creatures. A spotted stingray was a highlight. A few crew members were in the water and instructed us to “stay away from the rocks” on the nearby shore, which required active swimming at times as there were some rather strong currents. Other than that, I felt comfortable and happy I’d decided to snorkel. However, myself and many others became confused and then concerned as we saw our catamaran and a smaller boat that had been dropped into the water near us to scoop up some struggling snorkelers, leave. Like, totally gone. Abandoning us survivor style.
After a bit longer it became clear that we were expected to swim to a nearby beach (which was a good quarter to half mile away). To be clear, none of this was communicated to us in advance and there were a few in our group who were really unhappy and panicking at this point. I’m a good swimmer though and it felt like a fun adventure (and not like a cruise ship excursion!), so I channeled my best Michael Phelps and tried to help and encourage those who were struggling. It became increasingly difficult as we neared shore as the waves were quite strong at times. But we all made it to the beach, which was beautiful and relaxing and had restrooms available.
Now a quick note about those who elected to skip snorkeling and head straight to the beach. Because there was no dock, our catamaran was anchored off shore and those wishing to go to the beach had to wade/swim through the water (which reached up to neck level for the average-sized human). There was a rope one could grab onto to assist, but it was still quite difficult. Here’s a photo of some of my fellow passengers returning to the boat from the beach. I don’t know how it reads online to someone who wasn’t there, but watching and hearing it live, it reminded me of a World War II reenactment.
Extra Credit Pro Tip: Note that nothing that wasn’t waterproof could be taken to the beach (so no phones, cameras, etc). If you want to bring your phone with you, pack a waterproof phone pouch:
Lunch was served after we returned to the boat and was most welcome after an unexpected open ocean swim. It consisted of sandwich fixings (meats, vegetables, and condiments on delicious focaccia bread), pasta salad with tuna, potato salad, and fresh fruit. Water, lemonade, and iced tea were also provided and Mexican cheesecake slices were passed around later for dessert.
Our next stop was Yelapa, a tiny fishing village only accessible by boat. Again we were given two choices, a hike to a waterfall or head straight to the beach. I opted for the hike which required transferring from the catamaran to a smaller motor boat. This was challenging for those with balance or mobility issues.
The motorboat was tied to a small pier and I, once again, felt overwhelming relief at having two feet safely on land while repeating in my head like a desperate prayer, “I take back everything I ever said about cruise ship excursions.” But what a beautiful land it was!
Our “hike” to the waterfall was more a walk on uneven, slightly hilly surfaces than a proper hike and I found myself momentarily letting my guard down while thinking, “back to your regularly scheduled cruise ship excursion.” But while it wasn’t a proper hike, this was my favorite portion of the excursion. We were greeted by friendly local pets and wildlife (keep your eyes out for iguanas sunning themselves on rocks) as we wound through narrow stone paths and took in the vibrant colors common in Mexican architecture as well as lush plant life.
Being from Seattle, where we have amazing hiking and waterfalls, I didn’t find the waterfall itself that impressive and the sun glare made it tricky to get a good photo:
But it was a pretty area and I visited some nearby booths where locals were selling handmade clothing and crafts while others in our group took photos. After the waterfall, we wound through the town again, this time making our way down some narrow steep steps to the beach to meet up with the rest of our group. Here’s what the beach looked like:
This was the only portion of the excursion that I really didn’t love. All the lounge chairs were occupied and, even if they hadn’t been, our guides didn’t make it clear which we were allowed to sit in (maybe it was communicated to those who skipped the hike). There were a number of beach restaurants serving food and beverages, but I just walked back and forth on the beach and plopped down on the sand for a time, trying to keep my eyes on members of my group to make sure I didn’t miss getting back to our catamaran.
Speaking of which, I spent a good deal of my time sitting in the sand wondering how in the bloody h-e-double-hockey-sticks we were going to get back to the catamaran anchored a good 50 feet from the beach. I watched a few different groups wade through the water to small motorboats which transported them to larger vessels. But this time I had my phone and worried it would get destroyed if we were required to do that. Several others on the excursion looked concerned too and we started to gather as a group to speculate. Eventually a few crew members rounded us up and directed us to the other end of the beach, past some wooden structures, to a small dock where our captain would attempt to navigate the catamaran close enough in medium-sized swells for us to jump on (with the assistance of two crew members).
It took some time to get everyone back onboard alive and without sacrificing a limb to the clutches of the dock and the side of the boat. At this point, let’s just say, we were ready to drink! And drink we did! The crew opened up the bar and also passed around pre-made margaritas and rum punch.
Extra Credit Pro Tip: Drink heavily prior to the crew show if you want to fully enjoy it.
Remember that warning I issued earlier, “this excursion may not be appropriate for the infirm or…stodgy.” Well that brings us to the crew show, performed as we sailed back to Puerto Vallarta. I was feeling a little sick at this point due to a combination of overexertion, sunburn, and sea sickness so I cut myself off after half a margarita. As such, I took in the crew show – a lip syncing, gyrating rock performance – stone cold sober. Thankfully I relish in the absurd. But you may require more drinks to really dig it.
For kids? No. There was one child, aged 8, in our group. He was a notably friendly, adventurous and adaptable guy and I think he had a blast (although it was challenging for his mom at times, trying to help him). But generally I wouldn’t recommend this excursion for kids under 12.
For those with mobility or endurance issues? No.
For those who aren’t comfortable swimming in the open ocean with a life jacket? No.
For those I’ve already offended like 6 times in this post because they don’t appreciate sophisticated (read as juvenile) humor? No.
For those who generally hate cruise ship excursions, but seek adventure and relish in the absurd? YES! A million times yes! This was the most terrifying, thrilling, beautiful, enjoyable, and absurd cruise ship excursion I’ve ever taken and I LOVED IT! It was a great value and I’d do it again in a heartbeat (I mean, knowing I survived this first time and still have a heartbeat). And with that…
Class Dismissed.
Homework (10 points): Check out my other Mexico excursion reviews HERE, including the Hike to El Faro Lighthouse in Mazatlan, and be sure to follow Prof. Cruise on your favorite social media sites:
Twitter (@cruiseprof)
Instagram (@profcruise)
TikTok (profcruise)
The best Black Friday deals for cruisers in 2024!
Five things I'm looking forward to on my Holland America holiday cruise.
Carnival announced the return of midnight buffets to all ships. See the late night buffet…
Booked on or considering a cruise on NCL's Jewel? Read my full trip report and…
Looking for the December 2024 Carnival Dive-In movies? See all the movies coming to Carnival…