For me, Holland America’s Ms Eurodam was like an arid, blue-skyed, balmy January day in Seattle: perfect. And fleeting. That dam(n) ship seduced me with warm banana crisp, Beethoven, and a hot bath. Then, just 21 hours later, drop-kicked me out the door with enough momentum to send me rolling down the gangway to land in a messy heap back on dry land where I would cry on the phone to my girlfriends and ruminate over what could have been had I just been allowed to stay onboard for Ms Eurodam’s next leg from Vancouver to Hawaii: “she’s such a tease!”
But even though this cruise was my shortest ever, just one night from Seattle to Vancouver, I ate the equivalent of a full 7 day-er (stay tuned) and fell so fast and hard in love with Ms Eurodam that I later begged her to give me one more chance, which she reluctantly agreed to after submitting a request to management to double sugar provisions for April 2020. But for our second date, I’m bringing my whole family along, including my in-laws. I hope it’s not awkward.
Ms Eurodam weighs in at 86,000 tons (must be the unlimited ice cream), but has curves in all the right places – like a grand wrap around exterior promenade deck, perfect for romantic walks along the water. She’s on the older side, completed in 2008, but had extensive work done in late 2015 leaving her ship-shape with few visible wrinkles. And while I generally find Holland America ships a bit too traditional (read as “drab”) for my more contemporary tastes, I loved the layout, public spaces, art, fresh flowers, and roominess of staterooms on the Eurodam.
I won’t declare her the love of my life yet because I want NCL’s Pride of America (I’m booked on her for Hawaii in February) to think she still has a shot. But let’s just say that in April I’ll be packing something borrowed and something blue and the white dress I almost couldn’t squeeze into eight years ago when I got married for the first time and that now barely zips over a single thigh.
But before our officiant asks “if anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your peace,” take a tour of Ms Eurodam to discover all that I adore about her.
Before I had enough meat on my hip and thigh bones to sustain dozens of pioneers snowbound in the Sierra Nevadas for the winter, my food-loving Italian uncle (RIP, Uncle Mike ), used to marvel at how much a full grown adult who still shopped in the children’s department could pack away. When Mike would visit from Idaho, he’d often invite me to pastry shops and pasta joints and probably took bets in advance on how many cannoli I could eat. I really should have been a circus act.
And today, in my current life as a professional cruiser, after requesting a table for one in the MDR and proceeding to order “one of everything” from the dessert menu, I regularly get asked, “are you sure no one else is joining you, ma’am?”
Add to that the pressure I felt to deliver a thorough review of the Eurodam to my blog fans (hi mom and Mr. Cruise!) with under 24 hours for data collection and, well, that’s how I ended up eating 3 lunches, 2 dinners + 2 extra to-go desserts for the tub, and 3 breakfasts. I did it for you, people! Send Tums. And to save you the suspense, yes, I really did eat all that.
So let’s start where I started for my first of three lunches, at the buffet. Really though, I’d describe the buffet on the Eurodam as more akin to a school cafeteria, but with higher quality food and a clientele with more wrinkles and less angst. Instead of the usual self-serve stainless steel vats of mashed potatoes on other lines – potatoes I’d tower onto my plate and roughly sculpt into a likeness of the captain with a ring on his finger which I’d present on bended knee, “Captain, will you keep me in free cruises until death do us part? I mean, will you marry me?,” and later consume to drown my sorrows at a 17th consecutive proposal rejection at sea – hot foods on the Eurodam were positioned behind sneeze guards and served by crew (as is the case on all HAL ships).
While I’d like to avoid norovirus as much as the next guy and once saw a full grown man on one of those “other” lines grab three chicken legs with his bare hands only to return one to the vat once he deemed it less than satisfactory upon closer inspection, “not enough meat on these bones,” I’m not a fan of the buffet model on Holland America (although I know many people prefer it or remain ambivalent). It leads to long lines at times and bouts of shame for those of us who like “six generous scoops of cheesy grits, please!”
However, I found the quality and variety of the food on the Eurodam quite good. I particularly enjoyed the Asian selections and the sandwiches. I also enjoyed full drink service and silverware being pre-placed on each table, leading to fewer trips back and forth.
Glutted from my first lunch, I rubbed my belly and dramatically lifted each leg like I was trudging through a snow drift as I headed a few steps aft toward New York Pizza while singing, “if I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere….” I ordered the “Grand Central” and a panna cotta and audibly sighed when the crew member taking my order handed me a buzzer. I feared he may have misinterpreted my relief at a 15 minute wait – while they cooked my pizza to order – as impatience, so I clarified by saying, “that gives me time to hit the restroom to free up some space.”
I managed only one slice of pizza so small I couldn’t even fold it over to eat like a true New Yorker. Just as well, because New York would not be happy to have its name attached to this pizza: “how dare you use my name to describe this fast food quality crap” (read in the voice of Bernie Sanders fired up about millionaires and billionaires or Donald Trump dissing one of his critics). I did manage to polish off the delicious panna cotta (priorities). And, hating to waste most of a pie, I dropped my leftovers off at my cabin for a midnight snack because somehow cold, mediocre pizza tastes better in the wee hours.
At this point I had a genuine fear that the unfortunate crew member taking orders at Dive-In Burgers might lose his job for over-serving me: “that woman’s stomach was a clear safety risk – it could have burst at any moment!” Thankfully there was a long wait for my order to be ready, nearly 30 minutes, so I had time to further digest my first two lunches and stalk a table on the VERY crowded and understaffed lido deck (I think this had more to do with the short duration of this cruise – I can’t imagine it’s that crowded and chaotic on a longer sailing).
Some things are not worth the wait. Like that time I waited 3 hours in the emergency room only to discover that my pee was red due to the beets I’d eaten earlier that day in a salad. $395 later, I wished for that 3 hours and my pride back. But this “Freestyle” mushroom burger and fries with dive-in sauce were worth 10 minutes spent busing a table for myself and then pretending to look at my dead phone for another 20. #solocruising #introvertproblems
Seriously though, if you only have one day on the Eurodam, make this your first lunch. And possibly also your second and third lunch. And make sure to sneak in another one for me. Because it’s that good. Here’s the full menu:
Without a set dining time, I arrived at the dining room at 5:10, five minutes before it was scheduled to open. I was surprised at the number of people already assembled and disappointed at not being the first in line. Because when it comes to food, if I’m not the first in line, I’m unforgivably late – I promise to do better in April.
I was seated quickly, but enjoyed admiring these beautiful fresh flowers for the few minutes I waited.
Upon entering the dining room, I commented to myself (I talk to myself almost as much as I talk to my dog – what can I say, we agree on almost everything) about the dark decor, with red and black featuring prominently. It wasn’t my taste, but when it comes to taste, I was much more concerned about the food. Who cares if I like the chairs. Right?
While I wasn’t a fan of the overall decor, I loved the traditional blue and white delft bread plates custom created by Royal Goedewaagen. There were four different designs, each featuring a hidden HAL logo. So instead of “where’s Waldo?” you can play “where’s the HAL logo?” while waiting between courses. You can cheat at the game by studying the plate below in advance (sheesh, don’t tell anyone a former college professor told you to do that).
My waiter was professional and efficient and presented me with the following menu a few minutes after I’d been seated:
He made sure to inquire about any dietary restrictions I had. When I informed him that I was a vegetarian, he checked to see if I would be continuing on the next leg to Hawaii so I could view and order in advance from the extensive vegetarian menu for subsequent nights. When I replied “no” and burst into tears, he kindly proceeded to comfort me, “there, there,” and also go over the vegetarian options available on the regular menu for that night (go here if you’re interested in viewing the vegetarian menu – items from that menu must be ordered with your wait team the night before).
Knowing I would be headed up to the buffet for a second dinner later and still had 7/8 a pizza in my mini fridge, I settled on a very modest one appetizer, one entree, and one dessert. Barely crumbs compared to my usual MDR order which requires an extra table be added to house everything and regularly elicits comments from my fellow cruisers like, “what is this, your last supper?” and “are you feeding a hidden army under your stretchy cruise pants?”
Here’s what I ordered:
It was a light and delicious meal topped off with one of my favorite things about cruising with Holland America, a fruit crisp with vanilla ice cream. This one was banana and was the perfect combination of sweet and buttery and warm and cold and as delicious as I remembered.
My second dinner in the buffet was quiet and peaceful with very few passengers having elected to eat there. I opted for Indian and a sampling of cold salads, all tasty.
I grabbed a few desserts for later (stay tuned) before hitting my first performance of the evening, unless you count “Prof. Cruise’s Incredible Stretching Stomach” as a performance.
Another of my favorite things about Holland America is the extensive breakfast menu. It’s far superior to the breakfast menus on several comparable lines, in my opinion, especially for a vegetarian.
I opted for the vegetable scramble with a side of Morningstar Farms veggie links and the Texas bread french toast. Both were excellent and service was quick and professional.
Since I was lucky enough to score a balcony cabin even though I booked and paid for an inside guarantee, I figured I better make some use of it with a room service breakfast. I ordered it the night before by placing the following card on my door before bed:
It arrived on time, at the appropriate temperatures, during my designated window, and exactly as ordered including a requested substitution I wasn’t sure would be accommodated.
In addition to my coffee (no time for sleep on a one night cruise), I ordered a “continental,” a “healthy start,” and a vegetable and goat cheese omelette with cheddar substituted for the goat cheese because my unrefined taste buds can’t tell the difference between goat cheese and moldy gym socks. I also ordered some cereal hoping it would be delivered in one of those cute little boxes so I could take it home and pass it off as a souvenir for my 6 year-old. But no box, so I feared “better than nothing” was turning into just “nothing.” #momoftheyear
It was lovely to eat out on the balcony and I give HAL huge props for still offering a few complimentary hot breakfast items.
Following my mostly savory room service breakfast, my sweet tooth was screaming, “what about me? what about me?” and my conscience was equally annoying, nagging me about the cereal: “you abandoned your child for the weekend and can’t even bring him back a stinkin wee box of cereal?” So I battled the crowds in search of these…
and this…
Here was the activity and entertainment lineup for my one night cruise aboard the Eurodam:
Despite what you may be thinking, “oink, oink,” eating isn’t my only form of cruise recreation. I also drink. And sometimes I listen to live music or watch a theater production while eating and/or drinking.
Due to the cruelly short duration of my sailing and the limitations of my liver, I couldn’t take full advantage of the Eurodam’s 12 bars and lounges. I enjoyed exploring the unique spaces though and photographing the menus (#cruiseporn) to study in advance of my return in April. I’m currently busy preparing an A-Z list of drinks to try with my mother-in-law so she’ll tell me embarrassing stories about Mr. Cruise in her compromised state.
I was particularly drawn to the Tamarind Bar for the Asian inspired, deep purple decor and exotic cocktails and saketinis and the Gallery Bar for being quirky and art-themed and featuring cocktails by Master Mixologist Dale DeGroff. I’ll see you in April, Dale!
Humanity was the first of two performances I saw. This interactive dance and video show premiered in late 2018 on HAL’s newest Pinnacle class ship, ms Nieuw Statendam and has since expanded to other HAL ships such as the Eurodam. With projected video elements closely synchronized to the Step One Dance Company’s live choreography, this show had me both engrossed and energized. It may not be everyone’s thing (much like pickle flavored potato chips and profcruise.com), but I loved it.
Holland America’s signature “Music Walk,” several different music venues located near each other on the same deck, is one of my favorite things about the line. With Billboard Onboard for pop and top 40, B.B. King’s Blues Club for blues, and the Lincoln Center Stage for chamber music, there’s something for everyone. But with only one night, I found myself pulled in one direction by Muddy Waters, another direction by Lady Gaga, and in a third direction by Wolfgang Amadeus.
Ultimately Wolfgang Amadeus (who was actually baptized as Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart) beat out the other two for weirdest name which I, as one of 839,887 “Sarah’s” just in the United States, find highly enviable. Plus he was playing earlier (or rather his pieces were) and I was tired.
The music was lovely and relaxing (my apologies for the brief wild boar-ish snoring coming from toward the back – when you eat two full dinners with dessert, you crash hard) and provided the perfect segue into my final two activities of the evening (stay tuned).
In 2018, Holland America contracted with ArtLink, a London-based art curator, replacing Park West Gallery which supplies most other cruise lines. The art on display and available to purchase in ship galleries is exclusive to Holland America and comes from emerging artists from ports visited by the line. While I normally pass through cruise ship art galleries not paying them much attention (because after so many cruises, it all looks the same to me now and feels a bit gimmicky), I actually stopped to look at every piece on the Eurodam and, if I were in the market for art, might actually consider purchasing something because it’s so unique. I also loved the simple, clean way it was displayed, without a bunch of tacky overly ornate chipped frames – it felt like a legit land-based gallery, one I’d go out of my way to visit.
I also loved the fresh flowers (works of art in their own right) and millions of dollars worth of art and historical artifacts throughout the ship.
With sweeping views out the front and sides of the ship, I could spend 365 days of a 365 day cruise (365 days being my ideal cruise length) sitting in one of the comfy loungers positioned near the front windows of the Crow’s Nest with a book and a drink, breaking only to eat and pee. And I’d be happy.
If you’re interested in doing the same, there’s a fairly good selection of books for loan housed in bookshelves positioned around the space (although I really missed having a large, formal library) and bar service. There are also board games available if you require a bit more action.
My second favorite thing to do on a cruise is to walk laps around the promenade deck while listening to an audio book and obsessively watching for wildlife. It’s a good thing too, because my first favorite thing to do on a cruise, as was particularly evident on this short sailing, is eat like I’m building up a reserve of fat for a protracted winter hibernation. So before I headed back to my room for the night, I hit Ms Eurodam’s wide promenade deck which wraps fully around the ship and is completely open to passengers (this is sadly becoming more and more unusual on newer ships).
After stuffing 63 well fed clowns into a 106.1 inches long Smart car, or rather maximizing every second of my one night cruise, I finally retreated to my room. But it wasn’t lights off just yet, I still had to ice my cake. Or two cakes. Eaten in the tub.
That’s right, tub. After roughly 20 cruises, this is the first stateroom I’ve ever had featuring a bathtub and removed one of only two remaining reasons I don’t just pay my rent directly to Stein Kruse. My dog is the other, in case you thought it was my kid or husband or gainful employment.
A hot bath and two final desserts were the perfect end to a nearly perfect day on one of my all-time favorite ships. Dam(n) the Eurodam for making me love her only to abandon me in Vancouver for warmer waters. But as I disembarked and headed for the Capilano Suspension Bridge Park (GO HERE if you’re cruising from or just visiting Vancouver!), I put Ingred Michaelson’s song “Maybe” on repeat, believing that she’s “gonna come back to me.” And with that…
Class Dismissed.
Homework (10 points): Go here for my full review of a balcony cabin on the Eurodam and here for all my Alaska port posts. And don’t forget to subscribe to the blog (scroll up to the top right if on a computer or keep scrolling down if on a mobile device) and follow me on social media:
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