Welcome back, students! I hope you all had a binge filled, I mean rest filled, spring break. Because I’m still recovering from mine, I don’t have a lecture prepared for today, so I’m going to ramble on about what I did for the last week and hope you don’t tell whomever is paying your tuition.
Normally my spring break vacations look something like this:
And my “packing list” looks something like this:
Note that I pack so much sunscreen it requires its own suitcase and attracts special scrutiny from security: “ma’am this bag contains no luggage tag and is oozing a liquidly white substance.” “Well who wants to admit that she requires that much sunscreen just to avoid her skin turning into something akin to picante fiery pork rinds.”
Seriously, you could bag me up, label me “paleo friendly,” and bring me to parties to traumatize your vegetarian friends.
But this year, we decided to stick a little closer to home on our quest to discover everything awesome, down to the last fragrant pine needle, about the Pacific Northwest. So we settled on a week in Portland, Oregon.
After my T.A., “H,” and I did this on our way out of school Friday afternoon…
…we checked into the best hotel in downtown Portland for those who like free donuts and cookies (click here for a full review of the Hampton Inn and Suites Pearl District) and set out to discover all the hot spots nearby for professors and T.A.’s who are even more excited than their students to have a week off. And when I say “hot spots” I mean it pre-internet and literally. After the snowiest February in over 70 years in Seattle, we’d had our fill of frostbite and snow angels.
We didn’t have a car, but were able to easily get everywhere we needed to go on MAX (the light rail system) or the streetcar lines with a daily tri-met pass ($5 for adults; $2.50 for youth 7-17; free for kids under 7). First stop, Portland Children’s Museum.
Address: 4015 SW Canyon Rd, Portland, OR 97221
MAX: Red or Blue line from downtown, get off at the Washington Park Station
Hours: 9am-5pm daily
Admission: $11 for kids over 1 and adults; $10 for seniors, $9 for military. We used our Pittsburgh Children’s Museum membership for half off.
Although geared toward younger kids, my 6-year-old teaching/travel assistant found plenty to do at the Portland Children’s Museum, like preparing me an espresso while I warmed myself in front of the campfire.
He also shopped for groceries, completed a landscaping project, engineered a scuba diving robot out of trash, and performed emergency surgery on a precocious labradoodle puppy who intercepted a delivery from Buffalo Wild Wings: “why yes, I’m the man of the house.” And I lived out my dream of becoming a teen pop icon on the theater stage.
And all that was before lunch.
The nice thing about overpaying for everything in Seattle is that when you travel everything seems so cheap. And while I’m normally not one to pay a premium to eat what is typically low quality food at a museum cafe, we couldn’t resist the menu and inexpensive prices at “The Counter at the Museum.” We enjoyed our vegan bowl and peanut butter and jelly sandwich which, at $10.50, would have purchased us a side of ketchup in Seattle.
Next stop? Actually, it was the same stop…
The Oregon Zoo is just around the corner from the Children’s Museum. If you visit right after the Children’s Museum you might find yourself whispering through a partially cupped hand to your adult companions, “What’s this place? We’ve already visited the zoo today!” and making an unflattering comparison between your little Ginny and a wild boar.
That’s why my T.A., “H” and I visited on a different day – except I was worried about what he might say about me. As it happened, his only comment was: “mom, this place smells like your car on the way home from Golden Corral.” Meaning a combination of gas and smashed tacos I smuggled out in my pocket. Totally fair.
Plus we waited for our best weather day. It was chilly, but sunny and beautiful and less crowded on a weekday during the winter season.
Admission: Adult (12–64): $17.95
Senior/ military (65 and up): $15.95
Youth (3–11): $12.95
2 and under: Free
Extra Credit: Show your MAX pass to save $1.50.
Hours change seasonally. Check the website for current hours.
We enjoyed the lush wooded landscape almost as much as the friendly gorillas, majestic elephants, and mountain goats that looked a lot like me – I grow out my coat in the winter.
With $4 in Valentine money to his name, my T.A. “H” was very eager to visit the gift shop. If you’re wondering what $4 buys you at a zoo gift shop, let me save you the heartbreak.
Nothing.
So we set out in search of 1984 when $4 bought a 6-year-old Prof. Cruise a hunk of warm plastic, molded to look like a zebra right in front of my very eyes, at the Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake City (hashtag memories) and stumbled upon the $1 and under section at Finnegan’s Toys.
820 SW Washington St, Portland, OR 97205
This old-timey toy shop has enough charm to lure in even the most introverted and lazy (i.e. Prof. Cruise) online shoppers to browse among tea sets and tin wind-up toys and monster finger puppets. “H” selected a water basketball game and a small dog he named Spot before getting to the checkout counter to find his $4 had fallen through the hole burned in his pocket: “but I already named him!” So I charged exactly $2 (no sales tax in Oregon) to my Mastercard and we headed back to the hotel to introduce Spot to his brother, a similar plastic dog also named Spot (hey, you like what you like).
Spot, meet Spot.
I hesitated in taking a boy who’s tried on multiple occasions to grow an apple tree in our apartment to a science museum for fear he might get ideas. Thankfully, our visit only resulted in having to have the sex talk about 20 years before I was ready thanks to an exhibit on human reproduction and fetal development. “But how does the sperm get to the egg mom?” “Hey champ, how about we find the gift shop where you can buy anything you want, no $4 limit, if you just stop asking me questions!”
Although we didn’t purchase any add-ons like the submarine tour, special traveling exhibit, or planetarium show, we found plenty to keep our brains and hands busy for several hours in this engaging museum. Highlights included the air and water fueled rocket launcher, chemistry and physics labs, and a mirror that made my legs look tall and skinny.
I couldn’t possibly have been the first person to ask the information desk where one buys a mirror like that for their house. They should sell those in the gift shop! I was disappointed when they didn’t know and upon returning home to learn that I still couldn’t reach the top cabinet in our kitchen where my husband hides his treats.
Address: 1945 SE Water Ave in Portland, OR
Getting there: We took the MAX orange line to get there and the street car (b loop) to get back.
Admission: Base admission is $14.95 for adults; $9.75 for youth 3-13; and $11.25 for seniors. Check here for additional pricing. We got in for free with our Pittsburgh Children’s Museum membership.
For the third time this trip, we excused ourselves, “pardon us, pardon us,” and exited MAX at the Washington Park stop, this time with Eric in tow (he joined us for the weekend) and headed for the World Forestry Center.
The Center opened at 10am and in keeping with my proclivity to arrive to all scheduled affairs at least fifteen minutes early to account for unexpected diversions and to check for free food, we arrived to locked doors and watches reading, “9:40am.” And no free food.
So in an effort to keep warm: “race you to that sign up there!”
And that’s how we ended up at the Hoyt Arboretum, a museum of living trees, and the Vietnam Veterans of Oregon Memorial. Although we only experienced a tiny corner of the 190 acre arboretum, we enjoyed hiking around and identifying different trees and plant species.
I was nearly moved to tears at the sight of my “H” giggling as he ran down the spiral path, descending into the base of a large bowl framed by monuments listing the names of deceased or missing Vietnam soldiers. Each name, somebody’s baby. What they must have seen and experienced to earn a spot on that wall. I held each of them in my heart for a brief moment before racing my little man – brave in his own way, but still full of innocence and naive to real horrors of the world – to the Forestry Center as my watch ticked over to 10 o’clock.
Address: 033 Southwest Canyon Road, Portland, OR 97221
Hours: Labor Day through Memorial Day: Thursday – Monday 10 am-5 pm. Memorial Day through Labor Day open daily 10 am – 5 pm.
Admissions: $7 for adults
$6 for seniors (age 62+)
$5 for youth (3 thru 18)
free for children under 3
MAX: Blue or Red line, get off at Washington Park
While my love affair with nature has inspired many a Harlequin romance novel such as, “Prof. Cruise and the Blue Spruce: Rings of Betrayal” (turns out he was much older than he let on), even I was eager to experience a bit of nature in the warmth of the indoors. And the World Forestry Center did not disappoint. I mean, check out the rings on these guys:
We enjoyed the two floors of interactive exhibits focused on forestry and conservation. This museum is geared toward children (ages 5-10 feels about right to me) and we enjoyed it as a family. Don’t forget to pick up your scavenger hunt clues and turn in your answers at the end of your visit for a prize. I’d plan to spend about an hour here.
By now it was cold and raining, so we did the only logical thing we could:
We ordered a giant shave ice at Wailua Shave Ice and pretended we were still in Hawaii (we cruised Hawaii over Christmas). Then we hit a bookstore where we could lose ourselves in a book and also lose ourselves: ring ring, “where are you?” “I have no idea, this place is bigger than my post cruise butt.”
Eric was born knowing how to read, all the more impressive considering he was two months premature. That might be a slight exaggeration, but he was definitely Seeing Jane Run before I uttered my first “dada” and these days he can polish off a toaster-sized novel in the time it takes me to watch two episodes of “Teen Mom.”
We’re a family of book lovers – as you may know my parents met and fell in love while working at a public library – and if I’m not knee deep in buffet desserts, you’ll probably find me on the promenade deck of a cruise ship reading.
So naturally we were excited to visit the largest independent bookstore in the world, Powell’s Books. We perused the shelves and selected a few titles of interest such as, “Walter the Farting Dog.” We took him to a quiet corner where his smell wouldn’t offend and escaped our troubles in a way only a great book can offer.
And so concludes our wintry week of Prof. Cruise (and kid) friendly activities near downtown Portland. Stay tuned for the final installment in this series: Where to Eat in Downtown Portland with a Vegan, a Carnivore, and a Kid who Shuns Anything Not Orange. Until then…
Class dismissed.
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