Considering a Christmas Cruise with Kids?
Prof. Cruise here to answer your questions about cruising over Christmas with kids. Let’s get to the most important question right away, because if you’re considering a Christmas cruise with kids, you will get asked this, probably dozens of times before you sail away from Santa’s usual point of entry (balcony door on our high-rise apartment in our case, but a chimney if you have more fortunate children) and lighted and ornamented pine, and it’s important you’re ready with a convincing answer:
Question 1: How will Santa find us on the boat?
Truthful answer: “Santa” is played by the crewmember with the most demerits. “Mei, you were late for the dinner shift six times last month, didn’t meet your quota of wine packages, and drizzled vanilla sauce directly into your mouth instead of onto the soufflé of Pam from North Carolina at Table 32. Congratulations, you’re Santa this year.” “But I’m a 96 pound woman.” “Here’s your beard. Stuff a pillow in the red suit. And start smoking – there’s a one inch spot on deck 7 where you’re still allowed to do that.”
Kid appropriate answer: Santa knows everything. Like when you tell me you’re still on the potty but are really disassembling the sink plumbing. Also, we’ll write him a letter.
Extra Credit: The captain can track Santa with his/her navigational equipment and will make announcements with his whereabouts so you can tailor your dinner warnings: “you better not slingshot that spoonful of mashed potatoes at your sister – Santa was just spotted over Iowa!”
We’ve been on two Christmas cruises with our son – Panama Canal on NCL’s Jewel when he was three and this past year to Hawaii on the Grand Princess when he was five. We love Christmas cruising! You don’t have to cook and you can avoid losing the spirit over heated dinner conversations with your liberal or conservative (depending on your political persuasion) relatives. “We wish we could invite you over this year to compare corporations we’re boycotting, but we’re going on a cruise.”
Here are some additional questions you may have, answered based on our experience. As always, it’s worth doing some additional research on your specific ship and itinerary.
Question 2: Will the ship be decorated?
Answer: Yes. Beautifully. Trees, garlands, lights, and fun touches like a gingerbread village, a train, or a wreath display with one wreath made by each department on the ship.
Extra Credit: Grandma hit the dollar store and a craft store for door decorations and a “cabin tree” to make it feel a bit more homely and add to the festive ambiance.
Question 3: Will Santa make an appearance?
Answer: Yes. On both NCL and Princess, Santa was available for you to hoist your screaming kid on. He appeared Christmas morning and presented each child with a gift – on NCL he handed out t-shirts and on Princess he gave out adorable penguin stuffies.
Extra Credit: If you want to purchase a professional photo with Santa, ship photographers will take one for you. However, if you’re too cheap, you are allowed to take one yourself. Here are my phone photos. But don’t call me cheap, call me “thrifty.”
Question 4: Will there be a traditional Christmas dinner offered in the dining room?
Answer: It depends. If your tradition is Tofurkey like mine (I can practically hear my husband making retching sounds as I type that), then no. If it’s regular turkey, then yes.
Extra Credit: Order two of everything and a bottle of expensive wine from Mei (so she doesn’t have to be Santa again next year) – it’s Christmas!
Question 5: How will we ever fit Tommy’s modest number of gifts (n=103) into our luggage?
Answer: There are a few ways to approach this.
1) You can jam them all into 12 suitcases and invite your portliest acquaintances over to bounce and then sit on each bag while you “ZIIIIIIP!” Then you can rent an extension van to get them to the airport, pay hundreds in fees to fly them to the ship, hand the porter $12 in tips after turning scarlet and answering “yes, but it’s Christmas” to, “this is ALL yours?” and then stack them in the extra stateroom you’ve purchased as a storage unit until Tommy opens it all and proceeds to play with a cardboard box for the next 5 days. Or…
2) You can bring only a few smaller items and leave a note from Santa with a promise of a surprise under the tree when you get home. Or…
3) You can buy less and gift “experiences.” Maybe a pricier shore excursion or meal at a specialty restaurant.
We went with a combination of options 2 and 3. But you do you. I promise not to shout obscenities at you if you’re holding up the taxi line at debarkation because you need 6 for your family of 3.
Extra Credit: Consider a cruise or destination themed Christmas card (see ours from this year below) and remember, even if Santa brings you coal, you’re still on a cruise!
Assignment (10 points): Discuss the following questions in the comments:
Have you been on a Christmas cruise with kids? Would you do it again? Why or why not? Any tips for those considering one?
Happy Christmas Cruising!
Class Dismissed.
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