Where did you go on your cruise? Nowhere!
Today’s lecture will cover cruises to nowhere (pictured above) as well as very short 1-3 day cruises. Prior to clicking on this guide, you may not have even known these cruises existed. There’s good reason for that, which I’ll get to later, but first, a brief introduction to short cruises and cruises to nowhere and why cruise lines offer them.
While I now consider anything shorter than 21 days (my longest cruise to date) a “short” cruise, cruise lines also occasionally offer really short cruises, some as short as just one night and some that don’t stop at any ports (cruises to nowhere). Here are three common reasons these cruises are offered:
Often short cruises are offered in order to reposition a ship from one departure port to another (such as the 1 night cruise I took from Seattle to Vancouver and the 3 night cruise I took from Los Angeles to Vancouver).
Sometimes short cruises are either fully or partially chartered. Sometimes by celebrity “fan groups.” Which is how I unintentionally ended up on a 2 night Royal Caribbean cruise round trip from Seattle with a stop in Victoria, Canada with…Adam Carolla. But that’s an (R rated) story for another time.
If there is a break between two longer itinerary segments, without the time necessary to sail very far, sometimes a ship will sell rooms for a 1 or 2 night cruise and either visit a nearby port or simply idle or anchor far enough out at sea to open the casino and shops. This, however, is more complicated for ships sailing from U.S. ports. Here’s why…
The Passenger Vessel Services Act of 1886 prohibits cruise ships that are foreign-flagged (for which nearly all of them are) from departing from and returning to the same U.S. port without first visiting a foreign port. It also forbids foreign-flagged cruise ships from embarking in one U.S. port and disembarking in a different U.S. port without visiting a distant foreign port outside of North America.
This both explains the odd itineraries on some short cruises (and longer cruises for that matter) and explains why there are so few of them from U.S. ports. For example, my 2 night cruise round trip from Seattle had to stop in Victoria, Canada. It couldn’t just head down to Oregon for a day or sail around the Pugit Sound for a few days and then return to Seattle.
Repositioning cruises starting at a U.S. port MUST either disembark at a foreign port or visit a foreign port outside of North America. While my 3 night cruise from Los Angeles to Vancouver and my 1 night cruise from Seattle to Vancouver didn’t stop at any ports (technically making them cruises to nowhere), they both disembarked at a different port outside the U.S., meaning they complied with the The Passenger Vessel Services Act.
“Cruises to nowhere” in their purest form (meaning they start and end at the same port and don’t visit any ports in between) are generally only available outside the U.S.
Despite the length of the cruise, you probably find disembarkation day premature and descending the gangway a cruel form of torment: “but I’ve only been at sea for 68 nights!” I do too. In fact, once my kid finally learns to wash his own hair and find the remote (all I’m really good for anymore) and once my dog takes up residence in his chosen final resting place at our local Fogo de Chão (he’s not concerned about health codes), I plan on never disembarking again. But for now, I sometimes have occasion to book a very short cruise and you might too! Here are 9 reasons to book a short cruise or cruise to nowhere:
Do you live in Seattle, but occasionally like to spend a weekend in Vancouver (or vise versa)? You could drive, take the bus or train, or…CRUISE there!
Are you curious about cruising, but unsure if you’ll like it? Are you nervous about seasickness or claustrophobia or boredom or managing a dietary restriction or medical condition while onboard? Or are you loyal to NCL, but Royal Caribbean keeps enticing you to stray with her ice skating shows and simulated skydiving?
Why not try on cruising or another cruise line or ship with a short 1-3 night cruise? I mean, at worst you’ll be mildly thankful for puking the whole time as the walls of your interior cabin conspire to suffocate you, because at least it’s better than the food prospects and activity lineup. OR you’ll be banned from your NCL Facebook group, “traitor!,” and will have to join Prof. Cruise’s group because she sets a low bar for entry. BUT, you might just like it. Or love it and find yourself both addicted to cruising or entirely disloyal to any particular line like me.
While a fancy cruise suite for a longer sailing might feel like the feather on a canine teaser wand positioned just out of reach as it taunts you, you might be able to afford one for a short 1 or 2 night cruise! The same goes for things like a beverage package, a spa pass, or a cabana or special deck access.
Mr. Cruise and I have always wanted to try the beverage package on Celebrity, but it’s been cost prohibitive on prior itineraries. Excitedly, we’ve just purchased it for a short cruise we have coming up in April.
As a professor of cruising, I cruise for both vacation and for work, but I acknowledge that most people my age have real jobs, important jobs that can’t be hastily abandoned in favor of a life at sea. But with short 1 to 2 day itineraries, it may be possible for you to avoid taking vacation days for your cruise.
A short cruise for two might actually end up costing you less than a dinner date on land. Plus you get breakfast and lunch, a floating hotel room, live music, production shows, and other activities. Short cruises can also make for a fun friend’s weekend. And if you don’t have any friends, just invite me…you do now! And good luck getting rid of me: “when’s our next cruise?!?!” Or leave your kids with your Mr. Cruise and go solo for some self care. That’s what I did on my last short cruise! #tableforone
If you’ve always dreamed of a 9-day cruise (pretty random, but whatever floats your boat – I’ll be here all week), you could build one by combining a 7-day itinerary with a 2-day itinerary. A back-to-back can turn a short cruise into a long cruise or a long cruise into a longer cruise.
See my complete guide to b2b’s here.
Would you rather have your next corporate gathering here…
or here…
Corporate gatherings or incentive programs are fairly common on short cruises. On my last one I was joined by several hundred top selling insurance agents in matching green shirts. Don’t worry though, they weren’t there to hock me travel insurance (no, that’s what I’m for: go here to compare plans find the best price on travel insurance for your cruise), they were there to par-tay!
It’s also common for short cruises to be either fully or partially chartered by various groups, clubs, and organizations. You might end up on one of these cruises as a regular passenger (like I was on my cruise with Adam Carolla and 500 of his closest friends) or you might seek one of these out, like this one with Oprah and Gayle King.
Do you have two seemingly incompatible goals in life, to pay your bills on time AND to cruise often? Short cruises may offer some reconciliation. Starting at just $69 per person per night (based on two person occupancy), these short cruises can be an inexpensive option for those who may not be able to fit a longer cruise into the budget.
Hear me out. Short isn’t all bad. For example, the pencil hash mark on my wall labeled with “age 41” measures in at just 5 feet 2 inches, but allows me to shop in the children’s department where unicorn prints and flip sequins are more readily available. And short cruises aren’t all bad either. They’re certainly better than no cruise at all and offer a definitive answer to the question: “how much food can I eat in less than 24 hours without popping my skin?” (Go here to find out.)
If you’re wondering why you’ve never seen or heard of these cruises, there’s good reason. Cruises under 3 nights often won’t be listed on the popular online cruise search and booking sites. Even many cruise lines won’t have them listed on their websites. So, how do you find one? Here are a few good web resources I use to find them (I don’t receive any commission for either of these links, but I have used Cruise Direct to book my short cruises in the past and have always had a good experience with them):
Cruise Critic 1-2 Night Cruises
Cruise Direct 1-2 Night cruises
I’m not know for brevity, but I’ll try it just this once: yes.
Normally on Holland America the maître d’ has to stand guard outside the dining room to turn away throngs of geriatric (for which I am one) passengers used to eating dinner at 4pm: “what do you mean you’re not open for another hour and a half – I’ll be half way through my third dream by then!” And the salon offers a daily special on “wash and sets.” And there are dozens of dentures turned into the lost and found, but surprisingly few smart phones: “that’s what an abacus and an Encyclopedia Britannica is for! Now have you seen my teeth?”
But boy oh boy, on my last cruise aboard HAL’s ms Eurodam, a one nighter, even I stayed up past 8pm (necessitated by my goal to eat 7 days worth of food in less than 24 hours) and the ship was hoppin’. Even at the piano bar where the entertainer kept saying “I don’t know that one” before closing to requests and channeling his best Barry Manilow.
Expect a livelier atmosphere and for the crowd to trend a bit younger on very short cruises.
Yes, there will be a full slate of organized activities on your short cruise. Here was the lineup on my last 1 night cruise:
Yes, there will be typical entertainment, including at least one major production show each night in the main theater.
Restaurants and bars (including specialty restaurants) will be open during typical hours for your short cruise, but there may be a few minor differences. For example, on my last short cruise there was no set dining time option for dinner in the main dining room (MDR). All dining in the MDR was “anytime” dining meaning you could either call ahead to make a reservation for the time you wanted or just show up at any time to eat.
Here was the dining schedule on my last one night cruise on Holland America:
Napoleon, not the famous Napoleon of the French revolution, Napoleon…Hill said, “If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.” While Napoleon Hill may have covertly been describing his life as a conman when he said that, it also applies equally well to short cruises. And as for short cruises, I’m not here to fool you. I’ve actually done them and I’ve (mostly) loved them. I encourage you to give them a try! And with that…
Class Dismissed.
Homework (10 points): Check out my guide to b2b cruising here, my guide to solo cruising here, and my guide to booking guarantee cabins here.
And be sure to subscribe to the blog to receive new course materials directly to your e-mail. Scroll up to the top right if on a computer or keep scrolling if on a mobile device. And be sure to follow Prof. Cruise on social media.
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